Hartley Hartley

Me and My Little Valentine

2012-02-16T13:22:00.002-08:00

Nora's two month update

2012-02-15T05:57:00.009-08:00

The little girl turned two months yesterday. She is a smiling, coo-ing body of wonderfulness.

Seriously, I don't know if she's just that different of a baby than Eli, or if Rob and I were just clueless with him. Nora is a super easy baby. She is sleeping about 6-7 hours at night, which honestly makes anything and everything during daytime hours with 2 little ones much much easier to handle.

Nora began coo-ing and smiling about 2 weeks ago - and it is as wonderful as I was anticipating. She loves watching big brother. I like to think it's because she loves him already and is interested in what he's doing. Though, it is probably equal amounts of self-preservation as it is adoration. She's been hit with footballs (foam - but still I know it stung) and had matchbox cars driven over her face. She's going to be one tough preschooler one day.

I can tell very easily now that she recognizes her immediate family and is more than happy to see Ma's face when she's hungry.

She is an absolute dream.

Some things that have made this time around easier. A pacifier. I swore Elijah would not have one - and he didn't. By the time I realized there may be something to baby's having pacifiers he would not take one. This time, it was the first postpartum baby product we bought. She doesn't take it often and she doesn't sleep with it at night, but it comes in handy when she does want to take it.

Second thing, A book called, "The Happiest Baby on the Block." I so wish I had this book when Eli was a newborn. The doc's 5's work magic on Nora and our lives are all the more peaceful for it. His whole premiss is that baby's need a 4th trimester - I've read about this idea before by other authors - and the 5's mimic the environment of the womb. Swaddling, Shushing, Swinging, Side and the icing on the cake suckling. She's no match withstanding all 5 at once, she'll calmly fall asleep in minutes. It's like a party trick going from screaming baby to ... silence. Third thing, her cradle swing. If grandma lived next door, we may not need this baby item. But it was a consignment store steal and provides hours of contentment when there aren't extra arms to rock in the rocking chair. Some days she's in it a lot, other days not at all. But the days that she does need the extra attention it is very helpful.

4th thing, my electric steamer I got for Christmas. I love clean floors. 2 year olds hate clean floors. It has been an epic battle which I lost. hard. I considered getting a dog, just to keep my floors slightly less than gross. But now, I can save myself the vet bill and the hassle of a 4th living creature to care for with this contraption. It is amazing and makes my floors sparkle in about 10 minutes. It's has perhaps surpassed my love for my dust buster with it's ease of use and quickness.

modified tummy time - the only way my little ones will do it. Also they apparently need to be wearing chic french hats.

Elijah is 2!

2012-01-23T19:05:00.003-08:00

Oh man, life is good. I think I understand bible verses now that talk about how children are a reward and gifts from God. 2 year olds - aside from temper tantrums - are wonderful creatures.

Elijah is way cool to hang out with. He feels like a little family member and is great company for me. I enjoy being around him.

He has about 30ish words - though he uses them quite sparingly. In fact, it took Rob and me a few days to compile the list and we stretch what we counted as a word. For instance, err is car. Sometimes it does feel like we live with a foreign exchange student who is trying to learn our language, but mostly just points and uses the same words for pretty much everything. Some of his favorite words are -

naa - horse
baa - sheep
nink - drink
noyunk - "oink" pig
Mee - Mickey Mouse
bye - in a sweet southern 2 syllable accent
grrr - bear, lion, tiger, etc. or play with me
i stuck - Eli's only phrase and his most useful one at that.

He loves Mickey Mouse, as you'll see from his birthday party pictures and has learned or perfected some things from watching the show. He can "tip toe tip toe tip toe" like Mickey and at the end of the show he gets up and does his own version of "The Hotdog Dance." His interpretation is skipping in a circle. Mickey also gets him to jump up and down a lot somehow.

Eli loves music of any kind, especially live music. He immediately starts dancing around and even has different types of dances to fit different music styles. He really enjoys our nightly jumping on the bed time. This ritual began when Nora was born as a special sister free zone for Elijah. Now he often gets on our bed when he wants to play with us or get extra loving. We'll wrestle him on the bed, let him bounce around, and rough house as much as he wants. Usually we do this before bedtime, but often we'll be in another room of the house and hear, "GRRR" coming from our room as an enticement to come and play! He also really enjoyed all the outdoor lights at Christmas and now gives a play by play during drives. He'll point out other cars (or errs) and say, "wheee" or "bump."

He still enjoys baby sister and doesn't seem to remember a time when we weren't carting her around with us as well. Now, he really likes to put his face in the way of her flailing arms and hands. Once contact is made he'll exclaim, "Oww!" and laugh. Yeah, right brother - no way that hurt! He kind of accidentally jumped on her a week or so ago. He was jumping and tried to Evil Knievel his way over lil sis. Luckily, he angled his jump and all but cleared her feet. I was right beside her and have no idea how he moved so fast. It startled her and I learned to stay between them, being right next to her is not enough to protect newborn Nora. Besides that instance, he's doing really well with gentle touches and learning to touch little sis with an open hand. Previously, he liked to knock knock on her head or torso. (it's a bad idea to play the pretend sleep/wake up game with a toddler if you're expecting a baby) He liked to knock knock on little sister to try to wake her up. He also loves to kiss Nora, though I also have to watch that. He seems to come in a little forcefully. yikes. little sister's going to be tough.

His favorite game is probably the book pointing game. He loves to look at points and either I'll point to an animal and he'll say what the animal says. Or, he'll point to a picture and I'll say what it is. He could (and does!) play this game for hours..... He also has started to interact with other kids even more. He still largely plays independently during play dates, but we see him starting to play with other kids. That is really neat. Last Sunday, Rob heard Eli laughing in his room from down the hall. When he got to the door, they told Rob that Eli and a little girl had been engrossed in a game of chase for the entire morning. Elijah loves his Sunday school class and skips down the hall on Sunday mornings to class. He loves that they go out to the playground pretty much every Sunday and tries to talk us into taking him back after church. A playground, by the way, is known as Wee. We found this out after walking to our car after church one morning. As we approached the play ground Elijah's cries of "Weee!" got louder and louder. As we passed the playground, his cries got sadder and softer and quieter, "weee..."

Below are some pictures from Elijah's birthday party last Saturday!

Our attempt to recreate a picture of Rob and his mom and Rob's 2nd Birthday which was also Mickey Mouse themed

Even though it's blurry, this is one of my favorite pictures!

A close up of my first (great) attempt at a birthday cake. I impressed myself.

our only picture with Nora - she slept through the party with my mom watching her

Nora Cate is 1 month old!

2012-01-14T13:40:00.001-08:00

This past month with Nora has been wonderful. We love our sweet baby girl.

One of the best parts of having a newborn again is remembering Elijah at that age through Nora's expressions and sounds. Some of her same cry faces I remember vividly as Eli cry faces. It was hard in some ways to go back to newborn days though. I looked at Rob one night and held Nora up and told him, "She doesn't know anything!" "She can't do anything cool, yet!" Her kind daddy took up for her and said she knew a lot... and she'll do fun stuff with us one day. Rob also says her cuteness is a survival instinct. I tend to agree. I think I actually heard that in a college sociology class.

I am shamelessly waiting so impatiently for her first real smiles. Oh, toothless grins send my heart over the edge and make all the work of a newborn more than worthwhile. Her little flutter smiles help me bide the time until then.

She is a strong girl - holding her head up for small bits of time since she came home from the hospital. I'm guessing she'll be close to 10lbs by her 1 month appointment. (Update! Turns out Nora was 10 lbs 12 oz at 5 1/2 weeks!) Sadly, she's already grown out of her teeny tiny newborn clothes and is into the 0-3 month ones. She is a WAY WAY easier baby than Elijah. And, I think a good bit of that is Rob and I are at least somewhat smarter...

For instance, little girl has to cry longer than Elijah ever dreamed of. After 2 secs of merely a "wha" with him, he was in my arms and I was feeding him, changing him, or soothing him. This girl is told many times a day as I attend to the needs of both babies, "hold on, little sis", "reign it in sister", or "get in line baby girl - mama's moving as fast as she can." I also allow my self the opportunity to go to the bathroom, brush my teeth, or pour a glass of water, whether baby girl is crying or not. I don't think I went to the bathroom until Eli was 5 months old. I'd hold it all day until Rob got home just in case Eli started to cry. I was sure he'd suffer from some awful disorder if he cried longer than 1 minute - With Nora, I've relaxed a lot. It is for sure, little sister's growing up in a different world. Often times by the time I do get to her, (which let's face it may be an eternity in newborn time - but in the real world it's only a couple minutes while I change Eli's diaper or get him a snack) Nora will many times have worked it out.

This girl can also sleep through the biggest of Eli noises and patiently suffers his good-natured smoother kisses, wake-up pokes, and hand holds. Can't fault a brother for loving his sis. Poor girl can't keep a hat on her head. Hats draw in Eli like moths to a flame. He gets a crazy look in his eye and darts over to her and yanks off the hat like it was offending him. I'd love to know if it's some sort of capture the flag game in his head.

She sleeps like a champ and I am following my mother's advice to, "Never wake a sleeping baby." When I told her I was waking Nora Cate up every 3 hours to eat, she said, "Girl, you're grandma would tell you to leave that baby alone and let her sleep." After the first 2 weeks, I've stopped waking her up at night and Nora's gone for a good 5 hour stretch for a couple nights. This is vastly different from our experience with Eli.

We did have a rough week, week and a half of sleepless nights. Nora Cate seemed to be having some gas, reflux, colic tummy troubles. I thought, oh dear, here we go again. But, we discovered a homeopathic remedy called Colic Calm. It changed our life.

It's seriously the best product in the world as far as I can tell.

It was so much fun to have a Holiday Baby. We really enjoyed Christmas festivities in a different way. We put a low priority on cooking and baking, i.e. we did none. We ordered a honey baked ham picked up sides from Kroger and called it a day. Done and Done. We focused on taking care of babies and having fun. We went to the train exhibit at UT gardens Christmas Eve, church Christmas morning, and to see lights one evening. We bucked current tradition and opened presents Christmas Eve so we wouldn't be so rushed Christmas morning. We also played a rousing game of find the belly button stump Christmas Eve, eww.

Baby girl may dislike having her birthday so close to Christmas in the future, but for us this first year it was a blast. We were able to have so many family and friends come and see us over the holiday weeks. There was a relaxed, cheerful, holiday spirit all around: at the mall, on tv, and the people around us. We really enjoyed our new tiny baby during the Holiday Season

StomachBug 2012

2012-01-10T06:58:00.000-08:00

Our family is just getting over being ravaged by StomachBug 2012.

Elijah got sick Thursday of last week. It took me down Saturday morning. And Rob fell victim Saturday night. Nora Cate, thankfully, made it through unaffected. This was the first time Elijah was aware of his sickness. Poor guy didn't like having a bucket shoved in his face at the first sign of a gag. At one point Rob carried him from the bedroom into the living room holding the trashcan. Elijah started gagging and Rob held the bucket in front of him. Eli said, "no no no" turned his head away from the bucket and into Rob's arms. The end result wasn't pretty. It was nice that Eli had a clear tell of when sickness was about to strike, though. Right before getting sick, he'd come over to me and say, "Ma?" in a sad little sweet voice.

This virus also marked my first real time of having to significantly split my attention between 2 very needy little people. It was really difficult and at times heartwrenching to see Eli feeling awful and wanting my comfort so much and also have little girl crying with her many needs as well. Ugh, I'm glad this past weekend is over.

Monday I spent clorox-ing, lysol-ing, airing out, and washing. I'm determined we won't pass this nasty bug back and forth. So far - so good.

If I wasn't before, I'm now completely exhausted. There should be some marker for over the door which keeps viruses out of homes which contain newborns.

Things I've now learned :

-2 year olds don't like to throw up in buckets.
-Gloves are a must for cleaning up after 2 year olds who don't like to throw up in buckets.
-Sprite, gatorade, and pedialyte should live in our basement for easy access.
-It's not pretty when we all drop like flies.

We've got a streak going

2011-12-31T16:13:00.000-08:00

As we were putting away Christmas decorations, we discovered we have Baby's First Christmas Ornaments for 2010 and 2011....

Rob is always joking that he wants a new baby each Christmas. Looks like he's got his wish for the past two years running.

From Wombie to Roomie Part 2 - Nora Cate's Arrival

2011-12-30T10:43:00.001-08:00

So here it is, the riveting conclusion to Nora Cate's birth. If you missed the first part, you can find it here.

I left off with Rob racing us to the hospital. Me propped up in the front seat talking through every contraction so that I wouldn't have the baby in the front seat. I was feeling a lot of pressure, more and more with each contraction, and panicked that we wouldn't make it to the hospital in time. It's a good thing we're only a few minutes from St. Mary's, we couldn't have made it any farther. My water broke about half way there. Luckily, the only pants I could find at home were Adidas nylon workout pants which were lined with sweat pant material.... no clean up required!

Rob swung into the Women's Pavilion turn around. He jumped out and grabbed the emergency phone. "My wife's having a baby NOW!" A nurse met us at the entrance with a wheel chair and told the nurse there was no way I could sit in it. I had a contraction and then made my way on foot to the elevator. 3 floors up I had another contraction just as the elevator doors opened. I was just sure the baby was going to come with that contraction and tried to do everything I could to keep her in.

Rob calls it my Monster Roar moment. I tell him I call that sound a Guttural Moan in birth classes so as not to scare the moms. Whatever you want to call it, I let it out just as the doors of the elevator opened on the LDR floor as 3 more nurses greeted us. "Oh great" I thought, "they're probably thinking I'm 2 cm dilated - in early labor - and a huge baby." Later, I also thought I must have scared the daylights out of any laboring woman within earshot. There were probably many pleas for epidurals after that from women on the floor. However, I must say that my groans weren't so much due to pain as they were pressure and trying to not push out a baby on the elevator. That wail did however, get me a room immediately - totally skipping triage. I walked off the elevator straight into the first room with an open door I saw, Room 14.

My pants however, never did quite make it as I lost them somewhere along the way. I got up on the bed and pleaded with the nurse to tell me I was a 10 and could push. She checked me at 3:50, and said I was 10cm, 100% effaced, and +1 station. I then asked who was going to catch the baby and Rob asked if that meant I could push. I knew my body was going to whether I joined it's efforts or not. But, it seemed like all the nurses stepped 5 ft back. One finally said, "I will if it comes to that." Nurse G had only caught 2 babies previously. In our haste we had only called our midwife, not the hospital to let them know we were on our way. So, unfortunately they had no idea who we were, they asked who I was, my social (which I remembered!) and if I was a patient there and who my doctor was. To them, we had just walked off the street.

I didn't know it at the time, but as I was getting off the elevator, Nurse G did a "round-up" sign with her hand calling all the nurses into our room, she knew our baby would be coming before our midwife would have a chance to arrive. Nurses flooded into our room for back-up for Nurse G.

It didn't seem like anyone was in the catching position though, and Rob told them that our first was born in about 10 minutes. I asked Nurse G if she had any techniques to help me not tear (because I tore so badly with Eli). She hemmed and hawed enough to make me a little nervous, so with the next contraction I wailed, "I Want Judi!" for the entire duration of the contraction. I was still refusing to forcefully push because Midwife Judi had not yet arrived and I didn't want Nora to be born too quickly. I asked the nurses if Judi was there, if she'd been called, where was she. Rob gave them a stern look and nodded his head yes, as if to say - "tell her she's coming".

Another nurse attempted to find Nora's heartbeat with the EFM sensors. I did not want to be touched; however, I was curious how baby girl was handling such an intense labor. The nurse never was able find a heartbeat. This made Rob and I very nervous. I kept asking if she was okay and don't remember ever being answered - which added to my uncertainty. But in my labor haze, I remembered being a doula for moms in labor when this was the case once the baby descended so far into the pelvis. I prayed this was the case with Nora.

I never did really push because I was afraid of tearing and wanted Judi to arrive so badly for the birth. I was uncertain of how hard to push because of the great intensity of the contractions. I was much less composed than with Elijah's birth and mostly hung on the railing of the bed groaning through contractions. I guess that's what happens when you labor for less than 2 hours and more or less are just along for the ride. Rob did an amazing job of telling me when he saw the head, when her head was born, her shoulders, etc. He was amazing for me - keeping me connected and knowing what was going on and what various sensations were.

Nora Catherine was born healthy, pink, and squalling at 3:56am into the arms of Nurse G. A full 6 minutes after arriving. Everyone was so relieved she was here and healthy. I think I squealed, "my baby, she's mine" as they placed her on my chest.

Nora Cate had been so low for so many weeks, that finally pushing her out was the biggest relief I've ever felt. I instantly felt not pregnant and like I could move again. Judi arrived during the short time between Nora's birth and the birth of the placenta. She almost made it from all the way across town. She stitched up my 2nd degree tear and made over how wonderful Nora was and scolded me for not calling her earlier. I jokingly asked for an epidural while she repaired my bottom and then said, "but seriously, can I get the epidural now?

Soon, I was set up in our room with orange juice, an ice pack, and some Motrin. I felt like a million bucks and was on cloud 9 with my little girl on my chest. Several nurses and staff came to visit and see who had caused so much commotion at 4am. And the nurses joked that they needed the excitement - it had been a little boring until we arrived. Rob and I were soon left on our own though to enjoy our new little one - who nursed like a champ from the beginning. I remember watching her in the early morning hours and thinking how beautiful she was - but how she looked nothing like Elijah. And how weird that was that we could make a completely different baby.

Several medical people have since instructed Rob that if we have more babies, he needs to take an emergency childbirth class because it's probable that my labors will be this quick in the future. And unfortunately, my personality is a bad match for this predicament. I seriously hate admitting I'm in labor and try to deny it for as long as possible. I also try to wait to go to the hospital for as long as possible. Luckily, this time, I did wake Rob up and we made it. But had we lived farther away or had I waited much longer to wake Rob we wouldn't have. I really dislike the idea of going to the hospital for false alarms and getting checked repeatedly, which may be what needs to happen next time so that we can be sure of our baby being born not in the car or at home without support.

Now, as a birth teacher, I would seriously be doing a disservice to not include the following information. (Though I totally get that this was an easy labor and I don't want it to sound at all like I'm complaining about the awesome birth that we got to experience with Nora. After all, we got a happy healthy baby at the end of not even 2 short hours - and I did not have to experience the exhaustion of a 24 hr + labor). I get that I'm lucky. But, first stage labor (basically what I skipped entirely) serves important roles for both mom and baby. Nora and I missed out on some of these benefits. Fast labor is NOT the goal of any birth.

Contractions are GOOD for baby. Nora did not have enough contractions to help clear her lungs of mucous. She had trouble clearing mucous for a couple days after birth. Thankfully, she was born breathing well - as contractions also help stimulate the lungs to begin breathing at birth. Secondly, she swallowed a good bit of blood during the birth process, from what I remember, this was because of the fast birth. It was quite alarming to watch her struggle to spit up what looked like chewing tobacco for the first few days after birth. She was also born with a few burst blood vessels in her eyes and a small heart murmur - all these can be normal newborn issues, but I can't help wonder/worry if perhaps they are due to the fast intense labor.

And, I'm not quite sure, but I'm afraid that some of the things we wanted for Nora's birth were not followed because hospital staff didn't have time to review our birth plan. I don't know if they were even able to review our chart before her birth! For instance , I think Nora's cord was cut before the placenta stopped pulsating, costing Nora about 6 months of iron stores for her blood.

First stage labor is also a time of hormonal, physical, and emotional changes in mom. I bruised and tore because of such a fast labor and birth. And while I'm happy with my birth experience with Nora and wouldn't trade it, I do miss having the chance to work with my labor. I had planned to spend labor with my family, taking Eli for walks, baking for the nurses station, taking a bath, and listening to music. While this may be overly romantic, I barely had time to wake up. Instead labor was fast, furious, and intense from the beginning. We didn't ease into anything. And I spent the duration of it wondering where I was in labor and what was going on -not having enough time to wrap my head around much of anything. I also didn't have the support of the birth team we'd assembled. Both our doula and midwife missed the birth due to no fault of their own. I'm so glad labor did begin when it did in the wee hours of the morning, because had it not, Rob might not have been home (what would I have done without him!) and we wouldn't have been able to make it to the hospital in any kind of traffic. He was much more clear on where I was in labor - had I been home by myself in the middle of the afternoon, I don't think I would have even called him.

Lastly, I must say I am very grateful for the care we received by all the nurses, doctors, and lactation consultant. They did such a great job. St. Mary's was a wonderful birth place and we'll go there again. I couldn't have asked for better care of me, Nora Cate, or Rob. They were all simply amazing.

Big Brother

2011-12-29T07:42:00.001-08:00

I'm no longer afraid of having ruined his life

Elijah pulled up a chair to get a bit closer to little sister. Winnie the Pooh is so much better to watch together - holding hands.

Hormonal Flux

2011-12-28T11:49:00.000-08:00

So after the earlier post on our family of four on how rosy life is, I thought I'd include another bit of realism - postpartum hormones!

Baby blues hit hard with Elijah - probably a combo of a rough PA winter, an early baby, many sleepless nights and being overwhelmed with learning how to mother. It wasn't easy, but I remember them fading pretty easily once we'd adjusted and I got longer stretches of sleep.

This go around the baby blues came again all be it much softer. And, with so much help this go around and a full term easy baby - life has been much easier and I'm so much more rested. Normal baby blues provide more comic relief than hot flashes during newborn days - So I thought I'd share some snippets from our life lately.

Rob and I tried to fly out the door last Monday morning for our 1st pediatrician visit with Nora Cate. My mom was still in town, but we decided Eli should go with us so he didn't feel left out or left alone again. I made the appointment for 8am so we wouldn't be infected by germy little sick kids. This meant leaving the house by 7:30, which meant being functional and out of sweatpants way to early. Oh, mistake. We ended up in the tahoe at 7:50, Rob driving in the front seat by himself. Me in the back with the kids without brushed hair, in the same sweatpants I slept in with a large thermos of coffee. Eli was crying because he didn't have breakfast, Nora was crying because the carseat was cold and I was crying because a song I used to sing at Christmastime in a friend's church when I was little came on the radio - Oh Beautiful Star of Bethlehem. Poor Rob had 3 in the backseat boohoo-ing the whole way to the office.

Rob and I have had fun playing a new game nightly. It's called, "High, Low, Crazy Thought". High Low is a game you may know. You tell your high moment of the day followed by your lowest moment of the day. We've altered this a bit to include your craziest thought of the day. Some of my crazies have included - "we've ruined Eli's life", "what if Nora has some sort of birth injury from being born so quickly into the arms of a nurse?", and "won't we miss life as a family of 3? Eli is the coolest kid ever and this girl doesn't do anything yet!"

Another - in retrospect - funny hormonal moment came when a little 5 year oldish boy saw Elijah crying (he was crying because Nora had just gotten upset and that upset Eli). The little boy bent down and started talking to Eli. Great mother that I am didn't even realize Eli had been crying or what the little boy was telling Elijah as I was paying our bill. I then saw his mother bend down and shake the kid saying, "Don't tell that little boy Santa's not giving him any presents because he's crying! That's not nice!" What? I wanted to bend down and tell that kid, "Didn't you hear the 11 o'clock news last night? Santa's been shot - nobody's getting any presents!" I controlled my hormones and my tongue. Though, it may have turned out differently had Eli been old enough to understand him or believed in Santa in the first place....

From Wombie to Roomie Part 1 - Nora Cate's Arrival

2011-12-27T07:25:00.001-08:00

Nora Cate's birth was what is known as a precipitous labor. A precipitous labor is define as labor lasting less than 3 hours from first contraction to birth. I was holding Nora Cate about 1 hr 56 min after labor began.

But, let's back up just a bit.

Monday and Tuesday I had resigned that baby girl was never coming and that I might as well keep myself busy and distracted. I made a couple returns, ran errands, cleaned the refrigerator, and even baked a cake Tuesday night, i.e. major nesting. I should have realized labor was imminent. I specifically baked the cake for baby girl's birthday, but decided instead of writing "Happy Birthday Baby Girl", I should ice it with "We're Waiting!" So that we could go ahead and eat it before it went stale.

Note to self: If you find yourself baking a baby birthday cake watch out! Notice I didn't get a chance to write anything. I baked the cake at 9pm Tuesday night and was too tired to frost it. I went to bed deciding I would frost and decorate it the next day. Turned out Nora couldn't wait until then.

Tuesday, I also told Rob that I thought it was a romantic idea to have a baby in the middle of the night - the world is still with a cover of darkness for protection. And, I debated all day whether or not to call my mom back up to Knoxville to be with Eli. She'd already come and gone once for a false alarm, so I decided to wait. All these things should have tipped me off that something was brewing in my belly.

Rob and I went to bed Tuesday watching the Biggest Loser Finale. Rob said we should have ordered me a biggest loser t-shirt for before and an evening dress for the after picture to wear to the hospital and he could dress up like Bob. I told him I didn't think I'd be in a joking mood once we went to the hospital.

I woke up somewhere around 2am because I heard Eli stir. I told Rob to go cover Elijah back up.
Rob did though he doesn't remember this request. I laid awake in bed and noticed a few contractions. I got up and went to the bathroom. I had another contraction there. I came back in our room and debated whether or not to wake Rob up. He got mad at me a couple weeks ago after I had a couple hours of contractions before I woke him up, so I decided to go ahead and wake him up around 2:17 am. I said, "Rob". "Hmmm"...quickly followed by a "yeah, baby?" He had been on high alert for a week or so. "I may be in labor" I replied. "Probably not, but I thought you'd want to know. Help me time a few, but I'm probably not in labor and will just go back to bed"

We laid awake for what seemed like forever before I had another contraction. Then one came. It was 8 long minutes before I had another one. They were strong. But I thought too far apart to mean anything serious so I told Rob I was going back to bed and we probably wouldn't need to leave for the hospital - if this even was labor- until 7 or 8 am. Rob suggested I get a snack. He knew I was in labor and also thought we'd be leaving for the hospital before 8am. The snack didn't sound like a bad idea so I went to the kitchen and got a bowl of yogurt and banana. Without a single contraction along the way. I got back to the bedroom and ate my snack. Finishing it without any contractions as well. This further convinced me that this was like every other night and that I'd go to bed and wake up still very pregnant.

As I had my snack though, Rob and I talked about who would take Elijah, when we'd call the midwife, and when we'd let my mom know to head up to Knoxville. All hypothetically in my mind however, because I'm convinced I'm not really in labor.

We turned the light out and I started to settle back in to go back to sleep. Rob got up and got dressed saying he was going to have breakfast - and then get ready for us to leave. I didn't catch that last part and thought he just wanted breakfast because I had woke him up in the middle of the night. He, however, was apparently much more convinced that I was in labor. It's now around 3am.

Before Rob gets out of the bedroom doorway, I gasp, "Rob! - ohhhhh" I had a huge contraction where I could almost feel myself dilating. Rob was by my side in an instant. I had another major contraction. "Okay," I said, "I'll call my mom now." My mom and I had a deal that if I went into labor in the middle of the night, she would wait until 5am to come if I told her as soon as I knew. I don't like people to know when I'm in labor. I didn't want her to be on the road in the middle of the night. I had 3 contractions on the phone with her, one right after the other. I told her it was a good day to head up to Knoxville.

After that Rob asked when we should call the midwife. My contractions spaced out once again. I said not yet, I'm not far enough in labor and it's so early in the morning to wake her. My midwife, however, had told me to call her with my first contraction because she thought I'd go fast. Of course, I didn't listen. I'm very private when labor starts and knew I'd never call her that early. Then I had another big contraction and decided okay, it's time to call. By the end of our short conversation, I went from - "we're going to labor at home for a few more hours" to "Oh, my we've got to leave now, I feel kinda pushy!"

Rob was getting dressed and loaded the car before I knew what was happening. He asked who we should call to get Eli and I said, "I don't know- I'm so confused, I can't think!" "Oh no!" I thought, "I'm in transition and we're not yet to the hospital". With the next contraction my legs started shaking. "Oh no!" I thought "I am in transition, we're not going to get there in time." Rob dashed out to get out next door neighbor while I tried to call her on the phone. She answered and I groaned, "Can you come NOOOOOWWW!" The NOW being my first really big pushing contraction. Rob raced back into the bedroom hearing our neighbor on my speakerphone and I told him to call 9-1-1 we weren't going to make it to the hospital. I had to stay up on my tippy toes to not push through contractions now. After I said that though, I thought, "it will take them just as long to get to us as it will for us to get to St. Mary's" - "And, I don't want EMT's to deliver my baby." I retracted my plea for 9-1-1 and said we'd have to leave right now.

Rob flew out the door to pull the Tahoe up to the street and our neighbor came in the door to me having another contraction leaning over the kitchen island. I talked through it trying not to push. I told her all about Eli, gave her a list of phone numbers, and showed her the notes I had for instructions about him that I'd left on the fridge. Later, she said she had no idea I was that close to having a baby. We left the house around 3:40am. I asked Rob to let me set in the back. He refused saying he wanted me up in the front seat with him. I told him I'd be more comfortable in the back. He refused. I learned later it was because he knew I'd have the baby in the backseat if he let me lie down. He was right. I spent the entire ride to the hospital hanging on to the hand rail with one hand and propping myself up with the other hand on my side. Rob flew (safely) through our neighborhood about 60mph to St. Mary's. I kept saying "we're not going to make it." And Rob kept thinking "should I pull over?"

Merry Christmas

2011-12-26T06:03:00.000-08:00

Happy Holidays from the Hartleys

Our Family of Four

2011-12-18T05:36:00.000-08:00

As you can imagine, we've been busy around our house this week, but here's an update on how everyone's adjusting....and some more pictures!

Nora Cate

Our precious girl. Obviously she's probably the best adjusted. She is the easiest baby in the world with a minor exception of some gas issues before bedtime. She sleeps, eats and sleeps some more. Her being so easy has really allowed us time to love on Eli during this transition. She's a great new family member. Some things we're learning about Nora: She has her daddy's looks, but her mama's personality. She loves to eat and a schedule. She's already set herself up on an eating schedule (something Eli never did) and she's gained almost 1 lb in her 1 week old life. Way to make your mama proud sweet girl! Speaking of her mom's personality she also has a flare for the dramatic, but otherwise pretty easy-going. Her cry is either just a whimper or a squeal whale song cry. She also gets the loudest hiccups. Now I know how she shook my belly nightly with those tremors.

I think she is the most beautiful girl-baby I've ever seen. She has Rob's darker complexion and dark eyes, long slender fingers and dark muppet hair.

Elijah

From the moment we brought her home Thursday evening, Eli squeals "BABY!" every single time he sees her. This is notable because he is a man of very few words. He wants to hold her constantly, kiss her on the mouth, and carry her around. We entertain the first 2 requests every time possible and we're working on helping him understand he can't carry her. Most of the time after he's asked to hold her and we put her on his lap, he immediately says, "no no no" and wants to just look at her. He's a funny bird. But I think he loves his sister already. She's been knocked around, poked, prodded, and I'm sure much more to come by big brother. But she's a tough lady. Eli is anxiously awaiting being about to drag her around like a rag doll.

He was/is a little confused. In my postpartum delirium, I'm afraid he's been scarred by waking up without me home Wednesday morning and then seeing me in the strange hospital environment. Whenever he senses someone is leaving, especially Ma, he's at the door in a flash shoes in hand, not to be left behind again. He got upset one evening when he heard Rob and I talking about going out to see Christmas lights. Poor kid understands more than we give him credit for.

All in all though he's been a complete dream. His biggest struggles have been nap and night time where he's taken longer to settle and go to sleep than normal. The closest he's come to acting out against Nora has been while I'm feeding her, he'll occasionally try to push her off my lap (ouch) and snuggle with me. When that happens, I either move seats and let Eli sit beside me, or I interrupt her meal and hand her over to Rob. Little girl's not hurting for calories and 2nd kids get the short end of the stick sometimes. She's never fussed, though. Very easy going.

My mom gave Elijah lots of attention while she was here, spoiling him with too many treats. Early Chirstmas presents haven't hurt either. And a quiet newborn have allowed for a pretty smooth transition for our boy. I'm looking forward to Rob's parents arrival to help carry us through this time period of needed extra attention and love. We were able to take Eli to the park yesterday on a very mild December afternoon. And Rob takes him with him for each and every little errand. These things have kept Eli busy and distracted. What a great kid.

My first little love

Rob

Rob has been super sweet, attentive, and patient. Such a great partner for me. He's picked up the house work for me sense my mom's gone home. And even before she left, he's been pitching in with the extra work that comes with already having a toddler. He's also made me feel special in my post pregnancy puffiness and during those moments after having a baby where your husband knows more about your person than you ever wanted.

He's also been patient with all my requests. "Husband can I have some tea. And please bring me another diaper. And have you seen my pen. Eli needs a drink before you sit down." And so on and so on.

He's fallen hard for this little girl. And I've fallen for him all over again.

Wife, Ma, Danielle

For me, it's not gotten hard yet really. Though my mom just went home yesterday and I've attempted little more since she left than taking a shower and giving Eli a bath. Once we came home from the hospital life has been surprisingly easier than the last time around with a newborn. Being in the hospital was hard. I missed Elijah like crazy. I missed him so much it hurt. I wanted to be with him so badly, I talked the hospital ped into letting us come home early if we promised to come back the next morning for an additional test (baby was Kuhn's +, no biggie). After we arrived home - life began as a family of four and I was able to relax having both my babies with me, sleep in my own bed, and shower in our bath. Oh it was good to be home. This is totally different from Elijah - they basically had to kick us out and I cried in the Tahoe for an hour while we tried to figure out how to strap in a car seat.

Heaven

So far, it's been a million times easier this go around. There is a BIG difference in the abilities of a full term baby and a pre term baby. Nora Cate nurses like a champ, wakes up on her own to be fed, is not sleepy at the breast and is gaining weight well. I love full term babies and will gladly trade being uncomfortable for a month to have such a mature baby. She sleeps like a champ too, partly because I think her little digestive track is more fully formed and more easily processes what she eats. We have only a minor struggle with gas this go around. For me too, it's been easier. I didn't tear as badly - nor did I lose the excessive amount of blood that I did with Eli. I have a ton of energy - though to be fair, I've really only attempted to dress myself, shower, and write Thank Yous. I enjoy (carefully) wrestling Eli on our bed and am able to play on the floor with him. I get a lot more sleep than with Eli and I've learned more tricks this go around. Nora sleeps on her side (my babies don't do to well on their backs), nursing is easier and more relaxed. We're not afraid of breaking her and we've got all our baby stuff. I'm not overwhelmed with learning how to be a mother. I guess we just know more of what to do this time. I'm just focusing on resting, healing and ENJOYing our new family.

Don't get me wrong, it's been hard. And will probably get harder once family has gone home and people stop bringing meals and gifts. But, I love this life with my babies.

She's Mine!

2011-12-16T09:06:00.000-08:00

And she's finally here! She arrived like a freight train, more about that later.

But here's the good stuff - Nora Catherine

Little sweet Hartley feet!

It's okay Nora Cate - I had a double chin for awhile there too. Yours is way cuter.

News of the Big Day

My sweet girl. I think I'm going to like this girl.

This is the same outfit I wore home from the hospital that my Grandma made for me. I asked my mom what if I'd been a boy? - Her answer "it's gender neutral".

Look mom! She's here!

Waiting on a little girl

2011-12-03T04:55:00.000-08:00

39 Weeks pregnant. I've never been 39 weeks pregnant before. It's not as bad as I originally thought it would be when I was dying to be done at 36. My body has adjusted to baby's new position and I've gotten a second wind - the cleaning bug has yet to hit though - as is evident by my undone house. I've also had plenty of time to get rid of my cold/cough and replenish my energy. Don't get me wrong - I was waking up everyday analyzing my body...Is today the day? Did my body forget how to have a baby? Will I ever go into labor? What if I go more than 2 weeks past???

I've been able to relax a bit though. Our dates were off some and we thankfully learned today that we have one more week than we thought we did. I'm so glad to have the time I feel little girl may need. I'm also happy to relax about feeling the need to go into labor to prevent induction. We've got plenty of time now!

Still, it takes effort to look on the bright side of not yet having baby girl. I'm getting so excited to see, hear, and smell her. To name her. And for Elijah to meet her! But, some things we've been able to do to stay busy and productive and entertained while we wait are - we got to enjoy Thanksgiving as a family of 3 for the last time, once again at Calhoun's this year. We've decorated for Christmas. And, we're getting to do some Christmas festivities we weren't sure we'd get to - like the Christmas Tree lighting and the downtown Knoxville Christmas Parade. We're also finished with Christmas Shopping!

Together at the Christmas tree lighting. I'd like to say it was the camera angle that gave me a double chin....instead I'll blame it on the lighting....

Our golden boy. Mmm, I love him. He loved the parade this year, which is a great improvement over last year's glazed-over-non-responsive look.

This pregnancy has been 100% different from the beginning and the end of it has followed suit. With Elijah, I had no clue labor was about to begin and though I had plenty of Braxton Hicks contractions, I only knew I was having one by feeling my tummy harden up. Labor began by surprise with my water breaking at 6am at 37 weeks. This go around, I had more false starts than I can count with "Braxton Hicks" that felt more like transition contractions but then would just pittered out in an hour or two. I'm hoping all those warm ups make for a fast easy labor. But, who knows? They have, certainly, already messed with my psyche. Recently though, I learned that it was probably my illness coupled with dehydration that caused the contractions to be so intense a few weeks ago. That, with already having had a baby at 37 weeks, you can understand why I thought "Today is the Day, everyday for a good week or two." I give up trying to guess at this point and am just so much more relaxed and thankful to learn that I have 2 more weeks before any interventions would have to take place. One thing is for sure though, apparently, "sugar and spice and everything nice" takes a little longer to bake than "frogs and snails and puppy dogs' tails".

To stay cheery, I'm trying my hand at a top 10 reasons it's okay to still be pregnant list. This is markedly different from another list I have. Things I have to say every time I leave the house to go out in public - a list which would include favorites like:

1. "why yes, I am pregnant"
2. "no, you cannot touch my belly"
3. "yes, you're right I do look like I'm going to pop"
4. "no, I'm not planning on having my baby in Target/Kroger/Wal-mart - Don't worry"

So here goes - a much nicer list to think about:

Top Ten Reasons To Go To Your Due Date and Beyond

10. You get a little bit longer to make special requests at restaurants that amuse waiters instead of annoying them.

9. Everybody loves a pregnant lady with a big round belly, especially at Christmas time

8. Strangers in parking lots will be very eager to help get your car to run- My car has been inexplicably deciding not to start on some/most occasions. Nice timing, right?

7. Nightly bowls of ice cream are still acceptable - no need to worry about baby weight coming off just yet.

6. You can cry whenever / wherever you deem appropriate.

5. You have a great reason for not being social or attending anything you don't want to.

4. A delay in midnight feedings - In-utero babies are so much quieter and easier to care for!

3. People are still complimenting you - not knocking you over to get to the baby

2. There's just a little more time to savor being a family of __ before it becomes plus one more.

... and the number one reason To Go To Your Due Date and Beyond

1. Your husband/family/friends have to be exceptionally nice to you for a longer duration of time no matter how rotten you are

Hope this list encourages preggers and future preggers everywhere to take heart and enjoy the last few (though long and uncomfortable) days of pregnancy.

And, one of the last pictures of this pregnancy before labor begins - at least it will be if my face continues to expand as it has of late. I've titled it - Tired pregnant lady with Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.

Show Me the Baby

2011-11-19T10:17:00.000-08:00

I'm ready. But....

I've been sick this past week. Sick and in bed. Elijah caught a cold virus and loving shared it with me. We've been coughing and nose blowing the whole week. I was pre-laboring pretty hard before catching this lovely virus, but have completely stopped while my body is healing. I'm really happy about this. Laboring and pushing a baby out while sick is NOT how I envisioned this birth going. Hopefully, both Eli and I will continue to heal and baby girl we'll come along soon thereafter.

Since catching this cold, many ladies have shared their experiences of getting sick a week or so before their babies came. Weird. But, hopefully it's just one more sign she's on her way. I hope to be up and nesting early next week.

More Reviews - Our Home Progress

2011-11-16T14:48:00.000-08:00

I had NO idea how much different it would be to own a home rather than rent an apartment. This experience has been far different from our home ownership days in East Point. And, if it weren't for the cost savings one would eventually reap coupled with not having to live below noisy drug-dealer punk college students, I would want to always rent. With that said, I love our home and I never want to move. I've enjoyed piecing it together - though most often my attention span is far from long enough to reach my end goals. And, our young family and busy lives have made finding the time to do much of our home-making-ness difficult. Yet, slowly slowly we are gaining experience in the how-to department and carving out our little haven.

To keep it neat and tidy, I've deleted items we've changed our minds about and items that we'd already accomplished as of the last publishing.

Make it Functional
1. Buy a diaper sprayer (aka baby bidet)- Rob conceded this to me after I wanted to get in a bidding war for one in a previous contract on a house - yet to get, though a friend offered her's made from materials from Lowe's
2. Hand held shower sprayer - won't this be great for hosing off babies! - accomplished! and it is everything I thought it would be for giving babies baths - though next time I'll probably upgrade to get a longer hose.
3. baby-proof supplies and anti tip bracket installed on oven- the whole 9 yards - no further progress.
4. mop & broom holder - done! and even better than our first idea as it is out of the way of "helping" baby hands.
5. window coverings - either wooden blinds or curtains, not sure yet. Finished! Yes! Perhaps my biggest accomplishment. If we ever do move I told Rob he is taking down every single rod and curtain and we're taking them with us. I never want to dress another window again.
6. Laundry room floor epoxy or concrete stain - not yet. But the basement is organized and fairly neat. It also hold my favorite place of our house, my laundry area. This is MY space and mine alone. It's organized just how I want it and is compact and convenient to use. I love doing laundry now!
7. 2 outdoor mats - done
8. 2 bathroom shower curtain rods and shower curtains - done
9. fence - I think we're going to have Rob install one. That is after we save up for it and find the time to install it. It would really be great to have especially with new baby around.

Make it Homey
1. new front door (or paint existing one) - we added a screen door instead. Ahh, southern perfection. We also put screens on the deck french doors, adding to our cheap summer air conditioning alternative - open windows.
2. Kitchen Island shelving? - Bar stools!
3. house plants! - Slowly I'm collecting potted plants for indoors and out. I'm happy enought with my progress to call this done.
4. new lighting fixtures - no longer needed. I have no idea why I once hated our lighting fixtures so much. I think coupled with the bare house they felt cold and standard, but now with our things in place around them, they go great!
5. Rug for Eli's room - Christmas present!
6. Paint tree in Eli's room - also inspired by a previous house find. I really want to do a weeping willow - Instead I used old art work I drew as a child and cheaply framed it with a 70% sale at Michael's. It turned out way cool (at least I think so)
7. Paint Livingroom and 2 upstairs bedrooms - No, but I would still like (Rob) to. I claim paint allergy.
8. Reupholster Ansley's beloved office chairs - just need to find some cool fabric and the nerve. I found a cool little fabric store that sales re-upholstery fabric cheap!
9. Frame bathroom window mirror - still a cool idea, not there yet though

Outdoor Living
1. Porch furniture - I did return the 2 I bought, but we just choose another color. I think the front porch is shaping up nicely.
2. Porch curtains - eh, I'm rethinking porch curtains.
3. Porch plants - Just waiting until spring when I Southern-ify my front porch with big beautiful ferns.
4. front yard - remove bushes, add flowers and birdbath - we're getting there. The huge bushes have been trimmed, I'm still waiting on a cheap bird bath.
5. window boxes! - next spring....
6. Deck furniture - we're saving up and will buy it when it goes on clearance of clearance in November.
7. Deck Pergola with hanging ivy and lights!!! (I'm trying to talk Rob into this for my birthday gift!) - back to square one!
8. Patio concrete stain - Too late this year, but we may get some on clearance and tackle that job next spring.
9. Patio furniture -we're still saving and may buy some off craigslist next spring.
10. hammock on patio - Rob's looking into getting the bolts to put this in for next spring.
11. herb garden - May do pots instead of a garden next spring to keep it simple with Little Girl here.
12. veggie garden/ and trellis - We're going to at least do fruit trees.
13. Stain the deck - Done by handsome huz! Hurray!

Ahhh, this list no longer stresses me out like it once did. It seems way more manageable! The outside stuff is still a lot, but I'm really proud of how we've slowly chipped away at it and all that we've accomplished! Hope you're enjoying "This New House"

New Year Goals 2011 - Revisited

2011-11-14T06:53:00.000-08:00

I'm thinking I'll be a little too busy in the upcoming months to review my goals for this year. Or perhaps, lacking enough brain cells due to sleep deprivation to make such a lofty review. So, here goes - A review in November.

I had 6 goals for 2011. You can read up on them here.

1. Date my Husband: complete and utter failure. We've had 2 legitimate dates this year - hopefully 1 more before baby girl arrives. We have lots of excuses. And truthfully, it would be a lot easier if we lived closer to family. (They love it when you dump your kids on them, right?) But we have recently discovered the novel idea of swapping babysitting services with friends. We do a very good job of "family dates" - taking Eli places where he can roam free and we can hang out- but we all know that's just not the same. We'll try again in 2012.

2. Plant a Garden: Ehh. I've prepared, planned, and made some progress. Shortly after we moved in I got very pregnant and very sick. We found out we were pregnant around the 7 week marker and the next day got a ton of lilies and other plants from some good friends. I worked all the next day digging in the dirt to get them in the ground before morning sickness hit. Later in the summer, my family helped me clean up the front yard landscaping. And Rob and I have been working on solving a water run-off problem in the backyard to prepare for some fruit trees. I've finally decided that the side yard is the best place for a veggie/herb garden, but that is also where I want to put my chickens....one day. Hopefully, we'll get the fruit trees in next year and I'd love to get some herbs going, at least in pots in the spring.

3. Take a Vacation: Success! We had a great family vacay with the extended Hartleys in Pensacola. You can read more about that here. It was great, nuff said.

4. Start my business: Success! I have thoroughly enjoyed this past year of helping women and their families welcome their babies into the world. It has been truly amazing to become part of their lives as they prepare for birth. I've had 26 students total this year and been a doula for some very strong mamas. Next year will already be off to a rocking start as I have 8 more students lined up and will cut my maternity leave a little short to work with their due dates. I've completed a year of provisionally teaching the Bradley Method and am working on my final exam - hopefully to be completed before baby girl arrives - the final step toward full accreditation. In addition to Bradley classes, I've recently joined forces with Open Heart Doula Services. These women are amazing. Their knowledge and support are vital; they are such an encouragement. I quickly discovered that being a doula is a very physically demanding job for many long hours usually during the night - during all of which your brain is fully engaged to help your clients have the birth they've envisioned. Without these ladies, this job would be impossible to do with a young family of my own. I'm so thankful for this partnership. I'm interested looking into pursuing certification to become a lactation consultant (IBCLC). That dream would take many years to accomplish, but I'm interested in finding out more about the steps to take towards it. It could be a great full-time/part-time job once my babies are in school. That, or using the Econ MA I already have....

5. Get Financially Organized: Getting There! We're taking a "correspondent" Dave Ramsey class and are working through all those baby steps. After first being very skeptical of Dave and his FPU, I now love him and often say, "but, Dave says." We have an actual working budget instead of just saying, "our budget is we don't spend money." And we've cut up all our credit cards. Not because we were in debt, but the economists in us recognized the tendency to spend more when you pay with plastic rather than cash. My favorite parts of our Dave-Transformation, the envelope system and monthly saving for big ticket items like Christmas and Car Repairs. We've also consolidated bank accounts and are working on setting up some long term stuff.

6. Spend Differently: This has been much easier since beginning the Dave course. Sticking to our budget can make purchases and purchase place very interesting. Thanks to sales and coupons and a Southern Savers seminar, I now save 30% + weekly on groceries. And I clip every coupon I can find that I think we'll use. The only thing extreme about my coupon endeavors, however, is the lengths I'll go to to use a coupon. I recently found a BabiesRUs/ToysRUs coupon for a $10 gift card just for creating a new baby registry. Bingo! Clearance racks/Thrift stores/craigslist/consignment sales and yard sales continue to be favorite haunts of mine. This goal and the one above have made it a whole lot easier for me to stay home with babies.

Home Stretch

2011-11-09T18:21:00.000-08:00

36 weeks today. We're almost there. In fact, Eli was born at 36 and 6 by our last midwife's records. I cannot imagine having a girl in a week. Being in labor in a week. 4am feedings in a week. Having 2 kids in a week. You would think I would be more mentally prepared for this after 9 months of waiting. And yet having baby #2 is still such a crazy unreal concept! Who's idea was this?!

While mentally less than ready - my body is done-zos. Normally an AVID non-complainer, I whine most everyday, multiple times a day (at least to myself). I pelvic rock on the living room rug, lean over the kitchen island, squat everywhere; all to try to relieve the building pressure, sciatic pain, and heavy belly. My body is most certainly ready to have baby girl out, perhaps that's why Eli came early! Contractions come and go as well as cramping. I'm reaching the - I'm going to be pregnant forever please get this baby out - point.

So I know, I know. 36 weeks preggo - I could have another 6 weeks, right. I cannot even fathom this idea. Throughout the whole pregnancy, I would tell myself, "we'll have her by Christmas." But, now. I want her by Thanksgiving.

My belly now measures big even after dropping. Baby girl is ready for landing. Even though it's felt like a harder pregnancy this go around, everything's going fine - GBS negative, Blood pressure good, weight gain good (34lbs), baby girl movement and bpm good, blood sugar good (after failing the first test I had to withstand 2 weeks of 4 finger pricks a day - yuck!) Note to self - next time do not stave yourself all day and then carbo/sugar load at Chick-fil-a on the way to take the glucose test. Big mistake. I should totally know better.

Elijah is doing awesome - He kisses baby sister in my belly. He also waves and says, bye-bye to her and pulls my shirt back down when he's done giving her kisses. And every morning he wants to see the baby in the bassinet beside our bed; he pulls her out, hugs and pats her, kisses her, and puts her back to bed. If you ask him where baby sister is though, he'll pull up his shirt and pat his own belly!

I can't wait until this is the real baby sister

Then and Now

2011-11-02T08:16:00.001-07:00

Does this trip down memory lane put a lump in anyone else's throat? Just me? And, I thought he was such a big guy last year.

Fall 2010

Fall 2011

Halloween 2011

2011-11-01T18:14:00.000-07:00

First, the season started off with a trip to the pumpkin patch

It's extraordinarily difficult to catch this kid NOT in motion. Does that ever get easier? Perhaps when he's ten.

That's right, real pumpkins on the vine - we love trips to the Fruit & Berry Patch!

"Almost got it!"

My favorite sequence: tasting and then gagging

Obligatory non-flattering preggo and pumpkin pic. I did this for you, Rumble.

Then, we (Rob) carved the pumpkin. I suggested a Mickey Mouse mug for our pumpkin this year, since it's easily Eli's favorite character.

setting up the work station

careful design

And Voila! Eli pointed at the pumpkin and whispered, "Mee Mow?!"

The Saturday before Halloween we went to a couple Halloween parties. Pacing ourselves of course with a mid-afternoon nap.

Hear me Roar!
Eli the Lion

Lots of candy in my kitchen I'm trying to just say "no" to

And on Halloween night, we had a blast with neighbors and some lovely friends on the front porch handing out candy and hot cider. We had 57 Trick-or-Treaters, before we called it a night. Candy, Chilli, and Cider - the three C's of any successful Halloween. It was so chilly our little lion had to turn into a fuzzy warm bear. He didn't mind.

Eli loved his Mickey Mouse pumpkin and tried to stick his nose in Mickey's nose all night. That or he was getting a real good look at Mickey's insides.

21 months

2011-10-25T10:58:00.000-07:00

The zebras and Elijah

My baby's a boy. A true toddler. He's growing too fast. Somebody, make it slow down. He's no longer my sweet cuddler unless he's sick, in a cartoon trance, or I steal them during the night.

He's quick, and he runs everywhere. I can lose him in a second if he's not strapped to something.
He'll walk off with a stranger in a heartbeat and kiss dental hygienists on the mouth. (If he's wanting a kiss, he'll lean in and go, "Hmmm")
He loves music and hates bedroom shoes.
He likes the idea of dogs, but is shy to pet them. Until he decides it's a good idea to bonk them on the nose.
He speaks his own language that has little in common with English. He is not a performer and does not comply with requests to show where his nose or toes are.
His new favorite cartoons are Mickey Mouse Club House and Backyardigans. There is a part that makes him laugh every time in Backyardigans. That's my favorite.
He is very polite and tells everyone "Hi" and "Bye" that we ask him too.
He's a great independent player and we often hear him in his room playing with toys and solving the world's problems. It's especially funny when things aren't going his way and we hear, "no, no, no, oh no."
He LOVES playgrounds, especially the slides.
He pretty much knows his limits and before he decides to push them, he'll stare at the object he's not supposed to touch, or down the stairs he's not supposed to climb and shake his head while saying, "nooo nooo". I'm not sure if he's preemptively disciplining himself or lasting as long as he can before temptation wins out.
Eli can also loves to fake sleep. He'll catch our eye sometimes, throw his head back, close his eyes and snore. The kid is either narcoleptic or picked this up from who knows where. It cracks him up. He and his dad love to go back and forth playing this game, especially when they can trick mom.

These are some pics from our first zoo trip this past week.

The first words the lady at the gate told us were, "Do Not brush your hair with the goat's brushes" That is the first thing Elijah decided to do. I'm afraid my poor mom face has this expression 98% of the time. But, Elijah loved "petting" and brushing the goats.

In true Eli style, completely oblivious to the outside world.

These two were following this nervous meerkat back and forth along his cage. It was great fun.

Little Girl's Arrival Prep

2011-10-24T11:03:00.000-07:00

We're busy getting ready for the arrival of Little Girl Hartley. She's due to arrive sometime in December, but we're not taking any chances like we did with Elijah. I'm not saving all of my "to-dos" until my last month so I stay busy like I tried with Eli. Also, it takes me twice as long to do everything anyway with a toddler "helping".

Some things we've been working on:

We're stocked with newborn disposable diapers and we've got our cloth diapers ready to begin using once she turns 1 month old.

I made a big shopping trip with my mom during her last visit and we stock piled household goods, postpartum, and newborn care items.

My mom and I both have been stocking our freezers full of ready-to-heat-& -eat meals. We'll start soon making and freezing chilli, meatloaf, banana bread, breakfast casseroles, etc.

I had a great natural quick birth with Elijah, but had a long postpartum recovery. Frozen meals, my mom and good friends were our saving grace during that time. I don't know how we would have eaten otherwise.

We organized the upstairs baby room closet and we'll move the bassinet in our room sometime next month. She'll stay with us until she's 4 months old or so. Then we'll *try* Elijah and baby girl in a room together.

We've been to consignment events and clearance sales since the change in seasons and bought Little Girls clothes until she's 12m old! I'll be washing up her layette to 3m clothes next month.

Baby Girl's layette and blankets

Elijah and Little Girl's summer and beginning winter clothes for next year.

I'm making a car seat cover mostly for the fun of getting ready for a new baby rather than necessity. It and the infant car seat will go in the car mid November as well.

After much searching our Birth Team is finally assembled. We've got our hospital, midwife, and doula all ready to help welcome baby girl into the world.

You may notice she's being referred to as baby girl - we're not being coy or evasive; it's because she has no proper name and won't until birth. We're giving ourselves time to get to know her. We've got a list of possibles....a long list...that is revised often, but that's about it. We'll all just have to wait and see.

As far as big brother prep goes - I'm using one of my old baby dolls to help Eli learn the concept of gentle. I've started placing baby paraphernalia around the house. I also point out babies to him where ever we go (though, he could care less) and Rob and I are discussing how to handle any behavioral challenges that a new sibling could cause. We've decided extra snuggles and distraction is our first tactic.

He looks like a stellar big bro, right?

I was seriously stressed last month about ALL I had to do to get ready for her. But after my mom's visit earlier this month, I feel much more at ease. Next month, I'll wash up her clothes, pop her car seat in the car, put a few things in the freezer, and make her bed. Voila! And cue baby's arrival. It has been MUCH easier getting ready for baby #2 than baby #1. We have bought virtually nothing. I think all I've purchased is a cradle swing (would have killed for one with Eli) and I'm on my way this afternoon to pick up a Nose Frida from a local drug store. Ever heard of them? I've heard amazing things. Oh, I have picked up a few sewing projects for her, but they are all just for fun. This is in large part, though, due to generosity of grandparents. They've picked up a lot of stuff for us, including this beauty below!

By the Numbers : 23 week appt

2011-08-31T01:00:00.000-07:00

stats from my last prenatal visit a couple weeks ago.

112/60 - blood pressure

10 lbs - weight gain so far this pregnancy. Never fear, I gained 5 more last week alone. I'll be a tubbo by the end and happy for it. This also isn't taking into account the 5 or so I lost early in pregnancy. I'm pretty much on target for my last pregnancy stats and I gained a respectable 35lbs total.

154 - baby girl's bpm

21 - weeks my belly is measuring. Hope she hits a growth spurt soon!

We're over half way there!

19 1/2 months

2011-08-29T19:17:00.000-07:00

So not quite the milestone that 18 months is, but hey, we're running tad behind.

Some snapshots from our 1 1/2 year old's life

New Events -

We took Eli to his first high school football game - He held onto his Atlanta Falcons football for dear life (our high school team is the Fulton Falcons!) He was very unsure of where we'd taken him until half-time. Then he loved it and now sleeps with his football.

Elijah had his first hair cut! I barely trimmed his hair in the bath tub last week and almost boohoo-ed. I was the one pleading with Rob that it was time to cut it, but when it came down to trimming his locks, I was a wuss. The plus side is, Eli can see again and doesn't look quite as unkempt.

New weird/funny behaviors -

He'll stand on a small square (book, flyer, mail) lift both arms above his head and roar with all his might. I'd love to know what he's imitating and where he saw it.

He likes to wave at cars.

He'll cover his ears with his hands or plug them with his fingers. (best we can tell he likes to not hear us talk!)

He can jump! It began after a storytime where one of the sing-a-long songs had the kids jumping in the middle. He came home and practiced. It started off solely as an arm movement and deep knee bend, but by the next day his little feet (or foot at a time) made it off the ground. Super cute!

Elijah LOVES to sing. He'll sing along with us, with the radio, or by himself. Recently, we were over at a friends house and Eli ended up with a keyboard. Our discussion quieted down and we overheard Eli "singing", we looked over and he was Stevie Wonder-ing his heart out. Eyes closed, swaying and singing. Oh, man I wish I knew where he saw this stuff!

Daily Life

we keep a count of spied dogs and cats on our morning walks. (Dogs in fences do not count). We also point to EVERY mailbox, tree, and big rocks along the way.

Talking- ehh, we're getting there. "NO" is proudly announced at any given occasion. "Eli, did you sleep well?" "NO!" or, when we sit him down to dinner "NO" before he gobbles it up. As for other words, I give in way to easily and give him what he grunts for. "Bad Mommy"

Eating - He's a grazer, which I feed into being a pregger. We have breakfast, second breakfast, lunch, second lunch, etc. He takes a few bites at each unless he LOVES it. Homemade frozen yogurt is his favorite. He did all of the sudden demand to be given a spoon to eat with. We never taught him and he's ALWAYS fed himself with his hands. But he caught on really quickly. Awesome, something else I didn't have to do!

FINALLY! I have a great sleeper. I think our biggest issue earlier was lack of schedule and multiple transitions, but now I know the joy of sleep again! Eli goes down like a champ at night. Our schedule, around 8:30p I change his diaper, get his pjs on, and a fresh sippy. Rob then reads to him. And then, silence. No fuss, no crying, no drama. It's like he doesn't even know he could pitch a fit. Sometimes, I get him out of his crib at night just to hold him. It's not 5 minutes and he's flopping around or squirming out of my arms. He likes his crib! Good thing I've got a new little one to hold on the way.

Eli takes one afternoon nap- right after lunch for about 2 hours. Sometimes, it's 3 if I'm LUCKY. It used to be 3... oh, well.

Sundays used to be really stressful. Eli couldn't stay still or quiet during church and had melt downs in the nursery. But, lately he will flat out run into his Sunday school class. I think he's figured out that he's (usually) the oldest kid in there. He enjoys playing baby dictator- taking all the other babies' toys from them and making them cry, running around like a crazy man and sitting in every chair, stroller, bumbo seat, and rocker that he can find

Potty Training - we never started and we're not going to. I decided that more stressful than having 2 in diapers is asking a not-ready-to-be-potty-trained boy, "Do you have to potty?" every 30 minutes. We'll wait until he's ready. I can't believe he'll be out of diapers in such a short time anyway. His potty is currently used as a stepping stool while he brushes his teeth.

18 month appt

27 lbs
30 in
2 shots (We're almost up to date on all our shots that we're choosing to get)
and a finger prick - Eli is a champ with shots, but the finger prick - you would have thought they'd cut his finger off. To make it worse he looked at me as I was holding his bleeding, pulsing little finger, like, "why did you bring me here." It was awful.

Rob and I spend part of every evening yammering on and on about how cool he is, how in love we are with him, how he couldn't possibly be any cuter - we think he's amazing!

The pictures are the aftermath of a recent Chick-fil-a Kid's Night. We had an awesome dinner, Eli enjoyed a free kids' meal and then... Eli and Rob built a tool box, Elijah got a balloon and gave the Chick-fil-a Cow a high five after chasing him down. We were impressed Eli wasn't afraid of the huge cow!

Colvin Family Farm CSA

2011-08-16T01:00:00.000-07:00

One of my favorite things about living in Lancaster County was the abundance of farms, markets, and the variety of produce at our finger tips. Just a few miles outside of town, big family farms began to dominate the landscape. It was a beautiful and oh so tasty place to live.

Fast forward to our move to Knoxville, TN. When we first arrived, I was hopeful to find a similar setting what with this being East Tennessee and all. But it took some searching. I found a co-op market, Three Rivers, a local dairy that doesn't use hormones and learned about a grass-fed beef farm outside Knoxville. (It's my dream to one day buy a half-cow with a friend. I would also like to own 5 chickens please Rob Hartley.) And then, I saw a flier for a CSA (community supported agriculture).

After doing a little online searching, we joined the Colvin Family Farm CSA and have been happy members ever since. Every week we get a half-bushel of whatever is ripe from our local farm. We love it and have loved trying new veggies and experimenting with how to cook them (our favorite has been Patty Pan Squash!). Sometimes there is even a loaf of fresh bread or jam in our share. The only downside was when veggies were first coming in I was super early pregnant and on a strict diet of fast food and potatoes. Seriously, nothing green could touch my lips. But since the early days of kale, spinach, and broccoli have passed and I'm farther along, we have a couple veggie side dishes every night. Lately, tomatoes, snap beans, squash, zucchini, cucumbers, potatoes, onions, herbs and more fill our bags.

I'm looking forward to the members' Farm Day where we can all take a trip to the farm to see where our veggies are grown. I think Elijah will love it!

Vacation 2011

2011-08-07T15:07:00.001-07:00

Mid July we took our first family vacation with Elijah (out of the womb). We had a couple vacations with Eli in utero. We spent a long weekend in Philly on our way home from Africa. We took an anniversary trip to New York - where I was sure everyone was being nice to me out of the kindness of their hearts. They couldn't possibly tell I was pregnant in my heavy overcoat (I was 32 weeks! - denial!)

But, this was our first real vacation as a family. And, not just our little family, but we join Rob's parents and brother's family as well. It was a special vacation place too. Pensacola Beach, where we were married 4.5 years ago.

Pensacola here we come! We flew from Knoxville, TN to Gulf Breeze, FL direct! I had nightmares about flying with Elijah (and stuff) for weeks ahead of time. How are we going to carry everything and keep tabs on Eli AND manage boarding passes and IDs. I contemplated buying one of those kid leashes (and, you're welcome Eli - I did not.) However, both the Knoxville and Gulf Breeze airports were super tiny (duh) and really friendly. They even had amazingly clean bathrooms! (two thumbs up from this pregger.) We made it on board with no issues. Even while carrying all that you see below. Can you believe ALL THIS we carried on for free? Even the sleeping kid. 2 carry-ons, 2 personal items, 1 carseat, 1 jogging stroller, 1 child and a hat....and a monkey...and a sippy cup.

Eli did amazing all through the flight. Mostly because we brought the Wonder Pets DVD along with us. A few cookies, a little TV who wouldn't be happy?

Eli LOVED the beach and reverted to crawling. He loved to "splash" up the sand and must have liked the way it felt. The little crab crawled backward, forward and sideways in it. He wallowed in it like a little pig.

We tried our hand at sand castles and wading pools under the big umbrella. I think he liked the sand more than the water.

We took some walks on the beach. And, a couple days we even went out on the bikes - though it was really too hot to go too far or for too long. (note Rumble's pudge in the bike picture!)

Me and my babies. At this stage of pregnancy, I think most people gave me a double take wondering if the belly was old or new baby weight. I did have a good cover to indulge in more eating - too bad it couldn't be more seafood.

We spent more time on the Sound than the Gulf. The waves were fairly non-existent (great for Eli) and there were activities! Rob and his family spent a lot of time out on the water in Jet Skis, paddle boats, the obstacle course, and more. Preggo's aren't allowed on Jet Skis (according to Rob) so he took me out on a consolation Sailing trip. It was really cool and our first activity with only Rumble. We even saw a dolphin. We also took a Blue Angels' Cruise. I've always wanted to see them (well, always as in since we've been going to Pensacola) And I finally did! We went out on a pontoon boat early one morning and watched them practice. They were too fast for my camera!

Well, that was pretty much it, besides a lot of eating, some board game playing, a night of fireworks and daily naps.

All that fun gets you One Happy Hartley Family!

Kangaroo Pouch

2011-08-07T08:58:00.001-07:00

Today is one of those days where I wish I were more marsupial-like. I would reach down in my pouch, pull out my growing baby girl, kiss her face all over and put her back to cook for awhile longer.

Me and Rumble after church (22 weeks)

Wonder-Worries

2011-08-05T06:00:00.000-07:00

I love it when friends share any of the following:

1. psychotic fears
2. family holiday mishaps
3. major parenting snafus

Why?

Because they are usually hilarious and always make me feel more normal and more easily able to enjoy my own of the above.

Months ago, Rob and I were talking to some new parent friends and it came up that earlier that summer (last year), we'd tried to take Eli out for what we thought was a 10 minute shaded walk to a lake's edge. After taking the wrong trail, it turned into a 35 minute hike in 100+ degree south GA sun and heat with a 6 month old. I still don't know if Eli passed out from the heat or just took a nap, but by the trail's end Eli was stripped down to nothing with me fanning him and yelling at Rob to run him out to the car, Save him! I also considered having Rob pee on him until I remembered that was for jellyfish stings, not heat stroke.

That unleashed a ton of our peers 'Parenting Oops'.

We'll, it's my turn again. Below is a list of crazy fears I had about having a girl. When we were expecting Elijah, I wanted a boy so badly. I think I willed him to be a boy. That or it was all the African women who blessed me with a firstborn boy. This time around, instead of wanting one or the other - I just wanted a healthy baby, but was scared of a girl. I'm a bit of a chicken and am revealing my list to the world only after I worked through my irrational fears. That's just how I roll.

1. Elijah won't have a super close-in-age brother

I think I did mention this one before and I was sure he'd think I'd ruined his life. He may still feel this way when I bring a baby who's either crying or hungry 24/7 into his life, but perhaps this will pass. Now, I'm thinking he'll feel less threatened by a girl-child who has no chance of replacing our precious baby boy. And, I guess, he'll have a 50/50 chance next time when he's old enough to appreciate it, perhaps. I've also had lots of people tell me how they're actually closer to their siblings of the opposite sex than the same. There's hope!

2. What if she does everything in life better than me?

or does cooler stuff than me? or etc.... Won't I be jealous? It took me awhile to own up to this one. I hadn't felt this way about a boy. Who cares if he plays major league baseball - that was never an option for me. How could I ever even wish that I had done that? Finally, I told Rob one night just before going to sleep and he rolled over and said, "all our kids are going to be better than us." Just that. And went to sleep. I laid there for about a minute and thought, "I hope so, too" and that was the end of that. Of course!

3. What if she's nothing like me?

Or, worse, what if she hates everything I like and we have nothing in common? I got to thinking about it and I don't think I was much like my mom when I was little, either. But, she related to me just fine and now, it turns out we're more alike that not. resolved.

4. Will she make me feel old?

No idea why I thought about this more with having a little girl than with a little boy. Perhaps , because I'll see her playing games I did and think, man, I used to do that... 20 years ago! I guess it will happen. Maybe I'll join in her games and show her how it's done.

5. And the kicker, I'll have more responsibility this time around

- is it wrong? right now, I feel as though 98% of my job with Eli is loving him, feeding him, and trying to keep him clean. Rob has so much more on his shoulders. He'll have to teach him how to throw a football, not let him become a pony league drop-out, teach him how to treat women and be A Man. I was on easy street. Now, I'm going to have to do the girl version of all of these! Pressure! There's no way around it.

There you have it friends, Enjoy!

I'm now 110% super elated about Rumble Roo.

I Can Can*

2011-08-03T06:00:00.000-07:00

Mid-July, we decided to make our own Blueberry Jam after my mom brought some back with her to us from our trip to North Carolina. It was the most amazing jam I'd ever tasted. I'd been wanting to learn how to can this summer anyway, so I thought the promise of 12 half pint jars of heaven was just the motivation I needed to tackle CANNING!

I grew up watching my mom can summer fruits and veggies - but I think the only leg up that gave me was that I knew it could be done.

The process began with getting Rob out to help me in the blueberry patch. We spent a little over an hour picking almost two gallons of blueberries. It was hard, hot, chigger-ful work.

Then we brought our bounty home. Washed them and dried them.

After they were good and dry, I dyed my hands blue mashing enough to make 9 cups of blue goop and added 6 cups of sugar stirring until it was dissolved and boiled until it reached the gelling point. Whew, gotta love that ratio of fruit:sugar!

Then I worked quickly to get the hot jam funneled into hot sterilized jars. Put the tops on and placed 6 at a time into a boiling water bath for 15 minutes.

Then, I gingerly lifted them out and listened to the sweet popping sound of each and every lid. The popping lids means that the lids have seal and your canning mission was a success. I was incredibly proud.

So far this summer, I've helped my mom and aunt can garlic dill pickles (oh yum! They are great!) and our small group had a tomato canning party. Before the season's over, I'd love to can some fig preserves from our fig tree in the back yard and make some muscadine jelly.

*Don't credit me with the fun blog post title - I think it's Ball's official Canning tag line this year to revive interest in canning!

Also, I can Can only subpar-ly. I'm still learning. I give myself a B-. The jam is oh so tasty, but may not quite just right in consistency and there is a rougue whole blueberry every now and then. But, on the bright side, it won't give us botulism and worst case scenario we have home made blueberry syrup!

Summer Lovin'

2011-07-30T09:32:00.001-07:00

These were some 17month shots taken in our backyard in June. My only question - Can my heart hold this much love for two kids?

The Littlest Hartley

2011-07-29T07:07:00.000-07:00

We call her Rumble.

We also call her baby girl and the little baby.

She's wonderful and absolutely perfect. It took us a couple weeks (and we still are) wrapping our heads around what it's going to be like to have a girl, but everyday I get more and more and more excited. Little boys are awesome and totally lovable, but I've been told little girls are too. We shall see in about 4 1/2 months. We're kinda already starting to like her.

And, just for the record, this means I am 2 for 2 and Rob is 0 for 2 on guessing the gender of our children. I'd just like it to be noted.

I'm around 20 weeks. She's about the length of a banana. We did her gender ultrasound a little early around 18 weeks. I'm in between care providers right now, so we squeeze in appointments where we can take them. At that appointment, they said she weighed 8 oz and she was lying across my belly with her head on my left and toes on my right. They also said she was perfect. It's confirmed.

I can feel her kicking regularly now, but that didn't start as early as I was expecting with a second baby. I don't feel her all the time, but a couple times a day for sure. Rob has even felt her kick which is a little earlier than Eli, I think.

Nausea is still my friend, and every time I find my head in the toilet I promise myself I won't tell her how sick I was when carrying her. Only when she is having her babies and is sick will I console her with how worth it little babies are. The nausea has greatly subsided, but especially hot days or stressful days do me in. It is for sure, for me, carrying a little girl is more difficult. I was a pro with Eli and was sure I'd missed my calling to be a surrogate. Now, I pray that I forget the sickness so that we'll try for a third one day. Ice helps, anything frozen, nothing sweet and B vitamins with iron keeps my energy level above subsistence.

We're making progress on the naming front and actually have some really promising contenders. We started off months ago with only arguments, but after the ultrasound we've made some advancements and let go of some old favorites.

I fill my head with awesome daydreams about our little family. How when they're adults, Elijah will be a sweeter guy and closer to us because his little sister draws him into family. And how perhaps Eli will have a great ability to express himself because his little sister made him play with her growing up. And how he'll be super confident because his little sister thinks that besides her daddy, Eli is the coolest thing ever ever. Little sister will grow up speaking her mind at school knowing that her big brother will have her back. She'll grow up knowing how to talk to boys unlike her clumsy mom who thought they spoke another language. And Rob is excited that Eli can fight off 8th grade boys for him so that he doesn't go to jail. We'll have boys vs girls family game night and Hartley Olympics. I'll have someone to go to baby and wedding showers with me and someone who will stay close by my side and watch me like Eli watches Rob. I will teach her unlike I will teach Elijah. She'll learn from me , flaws and all, how to be a wife, and a mom, and a woman.

Yes, God knows best. She is quite the blessed addition to our growing family. Though, can we skip the onslaught of pink? Lavender is rather nice, don't you think? And just as feminine. Also, she will be wearing Eli's 0-3 month layette because it is mostly gender neutral and contains some rather old snuggly favorites. Mmm, I can't wait.

It's A

2011-07-28T06:00:00.000-07:00

If you remember, or find it here if you don't, we discovered Eli's gender over a romantic dinner for two at Loxley's in Lancaster, PA. We took the sealed envelope and had the chef bring either ice cream with blueberries or strawberries dependent upon boy or girl.

This time we had the announcement made at the downtown event Shakespeare on the Square with the whole family and all of Knoxville. It's a weekly summer performance downtown; and the play preformed July 14th was Comedy of Errors.

The director announced what we could expect from our newest family member right before the actors took the stage. The audience insisted we stand up and were all very excited by our news.

Eli very anxious to receive the news

Oh, mom, the wait is killing me. I can't take it. Announce it already!

A Baby Sister!!! Really!?! A GIRL!

Yep, that's right. It's a Girl! We're adding a little pink to the family tree.

Some Summer Eli Endeavors

2011-07-27T06:59:00.000-07:00

We've had a busy summer folks. Elijah and Rob have been into everything and me and little baby are just trying to keep up.

Here's some of the highlights

Picking up Ladies at the Fountain

Sleeping in

Entertaining with the Electric Slide at weddings everywhere

Devouring Watermelon

Getting stuck in the Lazy Susan - A once daily activity

And, the ever-growing list of Daddy-Son stunts

Visitin'

2011-07-26T06:32:00.000-07:00

We've been able to do a lot of visiting family this summer! Eli seems to be able to sense whenever we arrive that he's with family. He trots off and makes himself right at home. The fact that most the world has Nick Jr., also helps.

Back in May, I took Elijah by myself to visit Rob's family and then mine. We started off with a 6 hr drive to Alamo, GA. I had to run Eli by the pediatrician's office first though for a respiratory infection (remember our 'season of sickness'?) He was wheezing so, the Dr. gave him a breathing treatment in the office. The normal side effect is hyperactivity - Eli's response, he slept the entire way except for a lunch break and a bout of carsickness 20 minutes from arrival that took us both and his carseat down to our skivvies.

We were both spoiled incredibly which came during the perfect time in pregnancy for me. Morning sickness had worn me down to a thread and it was a miracle to have other people take care of my baby and feed me good food that I didn't have to cook! When I returned, Rob said that 7 days was too long for us to be gone. Guess he'll have to argue that one with the Grands.

In July, Elijah and I drove across I-40 to Western NC to visit relatives. It took about 4 hours, but it was so much fun to introduce Elijah to relatives there. Eli also got to meet 3 of his second cousins. We spent a few days helping in their garden and canning some veggies.

New Home Work

2011-06-11T08:44:00.000-07:00

The last thing that's made my life feel a little crazy lately is our new house. Our new house that I love, but have little to no idea what to do with. Or - scratch that - have too many ideas of what to do, but little confidence, money, or energy to do any of them.

I take FOREVER to decide on anything. And I am a habitual returner. A few years ago when a news story came out that stores were going to begin tracking your returns, I freaked and just knew I would be banned from every major store out there for my bad habit. Seriously, I probably return 85% of what I buy.

I'm on my third round of attempts to curtain the living/dining room. And I'd love to paint our boring vanilla house inside, but can't due to paint allergies - so I have to wait for Rob to get around to it....see above...never gonna happen. I'd also really love to furnish our basement family room, but we'll have to do some saving up a.k.a. more patience that I want to have - for that. Before doing too much in the bedrooms, I'm taking a kinda wait and see approach to how we house 2 babies and 2 adults. If there's any room swapping necessary I don't want to have invested too much energy just yet in getting those rooms "done".

I have made some progress though.

Here's the same list as before, broken down into the same 3 categories with my progress as follows -

Make it Functional
1. Buy a diaper sprayer (aka baby bidet)- Rob conceded this to me after I wanted to get in a bidding war for one in a previous contract on a house - we'll get this before new baby comes
2. Energy efficient bulbs - didn't want these after I learned they contained mercury. Bummer the gov't is now phasing out the old kind!
3. Hand held shower sprayer - won't this be great for hosing off babies! - Bought! Just not yet installed
4. baby-proof supplies and anti tip bracket installed on oven- the whole 9 yards - We're getting there. About half the drawer locks are on. Those suckers are hard to install!
5. mop & broom holder - The idea is conceive, just haven't done it yet.
6. clothes line - we've had one everywhere we've lived except Lancaster - not yet.
7. window coverings - either wooden blinds or curtains, not sure yet. - Bane of my decorative existence
8. Laundry room floor epoxy or concrete stain - not yet. The basement is no man's land still!
9. carbon detector - Yes!
10. laundry room shelving - Up! Thanks to Wonder Wife!
11. New mailbox - Bought and Installed! Thanks to Handsome Huz
12. city trashcan - not sure if we buy it or if it's provided - We bought it and we even have Free Recycling service beginning in September
13. 2 outdoor mats - I have 1 and am looking for a few more. I basically just need to suck it up are admit they are expensive. I want the kind that trap dirt and water.
14. 2 bathroom shower curtain rods and shower curtains - Only missing the downstairs shower curtain.
15. extra storage cabinet in bathroom - Not sure how that's going to play out.
16. covered parking? - Bottom of the list
17. fence - I have a guy coming today to give me a quote. We kinda need one on our street if Eli can run free.
18. lawn mower - I REALLY want a non-gasoline push one - I didn't get my push one - Rob got a gasoline self-propelled mower. I guess it's only fair seeing as how I've never mowed the grass before in my life.

Make it Homey
1. new front door (or paint existing one) - can't do this until we "theme up" the living room.
2. Kitchen Island shelving? - we decided on bar stools instead. Better idea.
3. house plants! - not the best idea with a hungry toddler around. Though I have one sick one right now.
4. candles for bath - these come and go. I move them around the house.
5. hanging pot rack? - Ha! I forgot I wanted this! I'm not sure it will work now that we're actually in the house.
6. new lighting fixtures - Slowly but surely one day. Right now more important to sort out room colors.
7. Rug for Eli's room - nope...
8. Paint tree in Eli's room - also inspired by a previous house find. I really want to do a weeping willow - no room to do this unless we play musical bedrooms with new baby arriving
9. Paint Livingroom and 2 upstairs bedrooms - no
10. Reupholster Ansley's beloved office chairs - have to decide where they will permanently live and what that room will look like.
11. Frame bathroom window mirror - still a cool idea, not there yet though
12. Decorative bathroom window - no longer going to do this

Outdoor Living
1. Porch furniture - I bought 2 chairs. I think I'm going to return them.
2. Porch curtains - only after I get the right furniture
3. Porch plants - have them, they're just not "hanging" baskets yet.
4. front yard - remove bushes, add flowers and birdbath - we're getting there. I want to keep the bushes and just trim them back. I've planted several flowers and even a rose. Still waiting on the bird bath.
5. window boxes! - I'll do this when the weather cools back down.
6. Deck furniture - we're saving up and will buy it when it goes on clearance of clearance in November.
7. Deck Pergola with hanging ivy and lights!!! (I'm trying to talk Rob into this for my birthday gift!) - I have a guy coming today to give us a quote.
8. Patio concrete stain - Same guy giving quote today.
9. Patio furniture -we're saving up and will buy it when it goes on clearance of clearance in November.
10. hammock on patio - this will take 2 seconds once the patio is actually a patio - right now it's just a concrete slab.
11. herb garden - I've got a neighborhood boy coming to till this fall, but I'm not going to put in the bed until spring.
12. veggie garden/ and trellis -same as above
13. Stain the deck - same guy giving me a quote today.

I guess we're not doing too bad on our lists considering we're trying to life our life in addition to adjusting to our new home. I can get overwhelmed with everything I want to do, but it can be fun doing all this when I relax and take my time. Especially since most of the Make It Functional column is done.

Viral Infestation

2011-06-07T05:48:00.000-07:00

Playtime between viral attacks

Another reason our home life has been just left of manageable these past couple months.

Apart from being a toddler and all of the serious joy and mobility that comes with that. (Honestly, this is my favorite age so far.) Eli had been sick for what felt like 3 months. Ever since he turned 13 months old, it was virus after virus after virus. This was infuriating, exhausting, and incredibly bad timing as I was also really sick for much of the same time span. I can't explain why we had a domino effect of viruses. I guess it could be any number of things - A wacky hot/cold spring, weaning, kissing kids at Baby bookworms (he's a lover folks), a natural building up of his immune system... who knows. Probably, all of it combined.

All we know is, it was exhausting to keep his fevers down. In and out of the bath, alcohol rub downs, vinegar on his feet, rotating Tylenol and Motrin - the highest one still got up to 104.8 (remember our little one's tendency to spike temps?) and I felt so helpless to help him get well. I even asked our doctor his feelings about Homeopathy. I'm about to start reading some books on it, but I just can't make it make sense in my head. We're sticking with as many all-natural Grandma remedies for now as we can.

The picture of little boy health on Good Friday 2011

We took him off cow milk completely for about a month to decrease mucous production in his little body and that seemed to help. And, I'm not sure if it was the praying or the Willow/ Garlic Ear Oil drops that kept us from developing secondary ear infections - he had significant amounts of both. I am most thankful that all of the illnesses were viruses that he beat without antibiotics and that Rob and I developed a "plan of attack" that we immediately launch on any viral invaders - no milk, vaporizer, saline nasal spray, ear drops.... we're going to be pros by the time new baby gets here.

We've now been virus free for a longer span that I can remember in the past couple weeks. Thank you, God.

Whoa Nelly!

2011-06-01T06:01:00.000-07:00

Life, slow down!

A catch up on our life these past few months. Part 1

Eli is already 16 months old. He flat out runs pretty much everywhere and is loads of fun in any fenced in area - free range babies make mom run too much. We enrolled Elijah in the reading challenge for listeners at our local library. If he listens to us read him 30 books, he gets a puppet or some equally amazing prize at the end of June. We're at 29. School aged kids are going to be so much fun. I can already tell Rob and I are going to have to hold back our "nerd-it-up" tendencies if our kids are to have any chance at normalcy.

We're not quite ready to begin potty-training, but almost. We've bought Eli a potty which he plays with but that's about it. He's been showing some signs of readiness, but we're not quite there yet. My goal is to have only 1 in diapers at a time. ha! we'll see.

Elijah says about 2 words still. Though these words vary monthly. We've been on "snack" and "hello" for quite some time. Though sometimes I do catch a "rob" thrown in. Oh, and of course he loves to say dada. Sometimes when Eli wakes up especially early (like 6am) I'll take him out to the living room to play while I nap on the sofa and Rob sleeps. As soon as 6:45 hits, I'll tell Eli, "you know dada's still sleeping. Go get dada". He'll take off down the hall running and yelling, "Dada! Dada! Dada!" I love doing that. I'll walk in a few minutes later to see Rob rubbing his eyes and Elijah scrambling on top of him. It's great. Eli loves to play "phone" with anything and everything. He'll often walk around the house with a pen, cup, or just his hand at his ear, saying "hewhoa" "hewhoa". To supplement his verbal vocab - we tried baby signs again. They didn't really work for us at 9 months. But when we tried again at 12 months he caught on quickly. He signs "All done" and "more" very well and we're about to start learning "potty", "monkey", and "thank you". Potty - for obvious reasons. Monkey - because his stuffed monkey is now is favorite possession. And Thank you - because he's old enough to learn some manners!

His new favorite game is a variation of peek-a-boo. He likes to hide behind dish towels that he stole from my kitchen drawer or behind curtains and then we pretend like we can't see him. Then, he'll pop out from behind his invisibility cloth and voila! Elijah. He loves it! He also enjoys knocking on doors or opening doors that you're knocking on, "excuse me, can I come in?" And...walking backward. It cracks him up!

These 3 pics are from our new favorite Tuesday night family activity. It's a blast to watch Eli play in the fountain at Market Square - It's just his size. It's all fun and games until he starts drinking the water.

Besides keeping up with a 16 month old - we're also pregnant! I'm finally out of the first trimester and can slowly feel life returning to my body after spending the last 3 months creating it. I have been exhausted and incredibly sick. With Elijah, morning sickness began earlier around 6 weeks but only lasted until 10. This time it hit at 7 1/2 and is still nothing to brag about at 13 1/2. I had no remembrance of how terrible morning sickness is and hope I forget all about it again so that there can be a third Hartley Baby one day. I remember with Eli after an especially hurl-full morning, I sat beside the toilet in Africa and cried. I thought being pregnant, I'd be cute and fun and pretty with a big belly. That all came - just later than I'd hoped. This time Elijah spent weeks walking around the house saying, "hu-a", "hu-a". It took me awhile to figure out that's the sound I make before I throw-up.

I'm utterly convinced this one's a girl. Though I'd be happy with either. Eventually, I'd like a girl. But for the first few weeks when the "this is a girl" feelings hit, I was completely afraid I was ruining Eli's life. "He needs a little brother!" I'd wail to Rob. Now I'm on Rob's team of "Eli's on his own - we're making a great family" and either a boy or girl will fit in perfectly and ruin no one's life. Except mine for the first, hmm, 6 weeks or so until it sorts out it's days and nights.

We haven't had an ultrasound yet - we opted not to get an early ultrasound (you can't fool me into that lovely experience again), though we'll have one at 20 weeks to find out the gender. Rob can't wait to find out- but I think I could. Eli and I did hear some tiny baby heartbeats though at my last appointment. The baby was flipping out and kicking already trying to get away from the doptone. Our midwife asked if Eli was that active and I had to laugh remembering just how in-utero active he had been.

I've been eating terribly (and I should know better as a childbirth educator). But I tell myself, "being able to keep x down is better than nothing at all." Unfortunately x has been mostly french fries, ground beef hard shell tacos, whole lemons - yes plain with salt please, and even a shameful run to Long John Silver's. Gross, I have no idea why. This baby loves as sour and as spicy as I can take, though I feel as though I'm craving bland potatoes. To keep the morning sickness at bay I've also chugged gallons of ginger ale. Soda normally is not my thing - and this new upswing of sugar is not exactly a good thing. Other than ginger ale, my other drink of choice is lemon water. And I'm not talking a lemon wedge in a glass. No, It's half water, half lemon juice and a lot of salt over crushed ice. Yumm. My last midwife called this concoction my virgin margarita.

Besides all that family business, I've also started up my business of childbirth education classes and doula services. Back in October I traveled to Atlanta to finish out my certification and since the new year began I've been working on getting myself and my business up and going. Since February, I've held 2 Bradley Method series and completed 2 Doula jobs with 2 more in the works. I absolutely LOVE what I do. Rob has been quite instrumental in the whole process. Encouraging me, doing mundane things like helping me make copies, and watching Eli while I'm teaching or away on jobs - all with a smile and telling me what a difference I'm making. I couldn't do it without him. He's wonderful.

Right now, I'm teaching a series on Sunday nights to 5 lovely couples. We're halfway through the course and they couldn't be more engaged and excited. I love having found what I'm passionate about and good at and enjoy like crazy! I'll be teaching one more series at the end of the summer before taking a little maternity break until the new year.

Whew, yes. All that makes our heads spin, too!

Future professions?

2011-03-12T08:52:00.000-08:00

They say what you enjoy doing as a child clues you into what job you'll be most passionate about as an adult.

I'm wondering what these pictures of Eli's favorite past-times say about his future career.

Zoo Keeper? Forget the no-spill wonders of these snack cups; they obviously make better cages. Eli prefers to keep his cereal storage and animal round-up endeavors separate. Though, it wouldn't be right to keep a zebra caged without cheerios sustenance.

A rescuer? Noah and his crew were in big trouble when his boat sprang a leak. Eli helped them find safe harbor in a bottom kitchen drawer. It wasn't easy. The child-safety lock made the job tricky, but Eli was determined to get them all to safety. And sure enough, Noah, a giraffe, and an elephant were wedged through one by one.

Twelve months

2011-02-26T14:52:00.000-08:00

We'll actually it's more like ever since he's turned 11 months on. So we're talking - 12 and 13 month accomplishments.

Elijah talks, he talks to us, to himself, and other kids. He's quite the social man. As far as words go. It's really random and hit or miss. Sometimes I'm like, "did he just say his name?", or "did he really just repeat that?" Nothing is clear - It's all in Eli dialect. But I have the feeling he's going to go from Ni Ni (night night) to "Dear Mother, I'd like to go to bed now, please" overnight.

At Eli's dedication, both sets of parents commented on how unusual it was that Eli was helping dress himself. Really? I had no idea that that was cool. I guess it is. Way to go son, you put your pants on like everybody else, one chunky leg at a time.

He LOVES to play in his room, and if I'm not careful to wedge a washcloth in the door jamb he'll shut me out and him in (ugh, teenagers). He is so proud of his room, and rightly so. It's the first he's had. I'm working on theme-ing it up. But not quite sure as every room in our home needs a bit of Martha-ing. In his room, he'll pull books off the bottom book shelf and dig in his play tubs. He loves to show it off.

As far as awesome new baby tricks, he can show how old he is and point to his hair when asked. Of course, these are only family tricks and friends are RARELY privileged to witness these acts of brilliance. Yesterday at the grocery store, the cashier asked Eli how old he was. I encouraged him, but he just tucked his head into his shoulders and grinned. As I was buckling him into his carseat he proudly shot up his index finger. "Awesome buddy, but a little late."

He moved on from putting things in containers and now loves to stuff things in drawers. He can stack blocks on top of one another 4 high, unless he deems a horse, cow or giraffe is a more appropriate block topper.

He is just barely walking. He took a few shuffle steps last Sunday. And, I have to judge my distance from him very carefully - Too close and he falls into me, too far and he drops and crawls. I am excited for him to begin walking, but I would seriously be happy in this stage forever...or until he weighed 30 lbs...

Elijah had his 12 month well baby check and I got to thinking. He has yet to have a true sick visit. Yay for breastmilk! Though he did have 2 freaking terrifying ER visits, that I would have traded for infinity routine sick visits, oh well. guess we can't choose these things. Eli weighed in at 22 lbs. He got his 5th tooth. And, I'm still debating on whether or not to get him the MMR vaccine. Not because of the autism link, which has mostly been debunked, but because of the ingredients of this vaccine. Such a hard decision. Hopefully we'll feel good about it one way or the other by his 15 month visit. At this last visit, the nurse asked, "Is he making any animal sounds?" To which I replied, "Does roaring count?" Everything roars in our house. It's like it's in his little boy DNA.

It didn't take a trip to the doctor to diagnose Eli with a serious case of Daddy-itis. AKA, Daddy fanatisism, or Daddy Idol. It's known by many names at our house as it is a progressive disease and is ONLY getting worse by the day. From the time Rob gets home in the evening until he falls asleep singing Da Da da da Da Da da Da, Rob is the only one who can hold him. He wants to wear Rob's shoes, eat Rob's food, play with Rob's "toys" and touch anything Rob touches. Enjoy the pics below.

reading the paper just like daddy

Look at ME mom, I'm just like HIM

You would think the whole giving birth, tending every need or want would put me a little higher on Eli's list, but no. The little monkey plays favorites. I used to console myself with things like, "well, Rob's taller, that's why Eli wants him to hold him, or "well, Eli doesn't see Rob all day and that's why he's all over him." I've faced the facts and am now resigned to Elijah's preference. Little Rob is a daddy's boy and just like him in most every way. It's that way it should be for now. Hopefully, I'll get a year or two of being his favorite before he goes to school...maybe.

We've stopped nursing. He's now on straight up cow's milk. It was a hard transition for me emotionally, which I didn't expect. But I think Eli did pretty well with it all. He's a trooper.

In other big boy news, Elijah also has his own library card! ooooh.

We're slowly transitioning to 1 nap a day and more nights than not Eli sleeps through the night (YES!!!) though he still ends up in our bed fairly often. Bad habit yes, I know. But try telling that to sleepy 3am Danielle.

Lastly, Eli can give great hugs, complete with back pats. Mmmm, I love that boy!

Elijah's First Birthday

2011-02-24T06:33:00.000-08:00

Another first, there are so many in my growing boy's world.

This was his cake.

And, it was the best child's cake ever. Thank you so much Leah! It was WONDERful and yummy. Sadly, this cake may have done her in and word on the street is she no longer does kids' cakes. Hopefully the trauma caused by creating the WonderPets cake will pass and she'll reconsider- we are going to need a year 2 cake, you know.

We so savvy-ily conned people into helping us move in by also throwing Eli's birthday on the same day. muhahah. Our invitations read: Come help us celebrate our boy's first. Everyone must carry in 1 thing from the P.O.D. Good thing the kid is so cute. It worked like a charm. Seriously though, it was a lot of fun to have good friends around us on a day where we were celebrating so much.

this pic included friends in our old and new small groups

simply precious

island full of clutter - kitchen full of friends

This was the first time Eli had really had sweets. Well, that I know of anyway.

Gee, mom. I don't know? Can I?

Well, maybe just a taste. If you insist. It is my birthday.

Don't let the face fool you.....

He had no problem digging in.

I should have known better than to give him an adult sized piece. I seriously wasn't thinking about it with everything that was going on. I looked over to check on how he was doing and he had put a serious hurting on that cake... He just kept eating and eating and before long looked really sick, but was still shoving cake in his mouth. He did circles around the island for the rest of the night laughing his head off. Before I put him down for the night he left a lovely puddle of blue icing throw up and spinach from the pizza in his new room.

Thank you God for my sweet little family

I must confess that Elijah's look of pure joy is for his daddy. I know this for sure, because it's how he ALWAYS looks at Rob. If you didn't know Rob hung the moon and stars. Our level of daddy idol is at an all time high - more on that later.

Happy Birthday Boy!

Welcome Back, Welcome Home

2011-02-23T05:45:00.000-08:00

After 3 weeks without home internet and 1 week to get back in the swing of things, we have returned to the wonderful world of blogging.

What started this long absence?

We bought a HOUSE. We love our new home. I believe it is perfectly the best house for us... ever. I've even thought, if we ever move again (good luck trying to make me move again Rob Hartley), we'll copy the floor plan and build it ourselves.

(cheesing up in a great new home pic - this is Eli's Ricky Bobby windsuit that I love. It has a monster truck on the back and may be the 1 and only pic in it before he outgrows it :(

This home fits our personality, our values, and size. It feels great to finally feel home. And after 4 years of marriage, that is a good feeling. This time when I unpacked boxes, I unpacked them all, as it is the first time I knew in advance that we wouldn't be planning on moving in a year. crazy.

We closed on January 21st, yep Eli and our new home are exactly 1 year apart. We spent the morning in the realtors' office - not around the dining room table in our new home, which is where I always romantically pictured closings taking place. Everyone who helped us through the home buying process attended the closing - which made it really feel like a celebration. Our mortgage broker even brought cupcakes for Eli's birthday. At the closing, we also met the owner's daughter which was cool and since moving in we've met most of our neighbors. We feel really welcomed in the neighborhood - it's a tight community. And, we can't wait til spring - our home is on the dogwood trail and it's apparently a sight to behold when they all bloom.

(Not only is he the best realtor ever, Eli's love for him is enough to make Grandparents jealous!)

365 days

2011-01-19T19:16:00.001-08:00

Eli has been around for 365 days. Today is his last day of being less than 1.

January 21, 2010
Freshly hatched. check out the mohawk.

Go back and enjoy this Hartley family classic - Eli's birth story.
Sweet boy, where did our year go?

I couldn't help but continually drift back in my thoughts today to this time last year. January 20th, 2010 - I spent the morning at the gym in the pool (funnily enough the only place I didn't feel like shamu) and then off to Target for (what turned out to be last minute) baby shopping. Our friend, Laura Beirne, came over for dinner from her apartment across the street and we all marveled at Eli's somersaults in my belly.

Earlier in the day, on the way from Target to Subway, for a hearty preggo lunch I had a heart to heart with Eli as I was driving in the car. I told him it would soon be time for him to be born. It could get a little scary as neither of us had done our respective jobs before, but we'd be okay. God would take care of us. And although I had a feeling that Eli would be early, he surprised all of us by starting our labor dance just hours later. I've since heard of other mom's having similar talks and results with their babies. The mama-baby link is amazing well before birth.

I later found out I had been pre-laboring all the previous week and just dismissed it to, "ah, this is why preggers complain that last month of pregnancy". I had been having braxton-hicks and woken nightly with funny contractions that felt nothing like what I expected contractions to feel like. This would happen again the night of the 20th, though it would end with a "pop!" of broken water at 6am the next morning. It would be Eli's last belly sleep. And tonight will be his last sleep before turning 1.

January 20, 2011

New Home To-Do List

2011-01-18T15:46:00.000-08:00

We're moving into a great house on Friday. We are so excited. We are going to do some serious celebrating Friday, too. 1. because it's Eli's birthday and 2. because it's going to be our new home's birthday. Woohoo! Everybody we've worked with in the home buying process has been awesome; from Realtor to mortgage broker and home insurer to home inspector. Whew, it's been a process and I'm glad we're almost to moving day.

We've been to the house many times since that initial viewing to closing, and along the way I've made a little (crazy big) to - do list. The home is new, so there is very little cost to us in the way of maintenance. But we do have a ways to go in making it feel homey and function for our family.

I thought I'd blog this in case my scribbled on paper get's lost in the move.

So here's the list, broken down into 3 categories:

Make it Functional
1. Buy a diaper sprayer (aka baby bidet)- Rob conceded this to me after I wanted to get in a bidding war for one in a previous contract on a house
2. Energy efficient bulbs
3. Hand held shower sprayer - won't this be great for hosing off babies!
4. baby-proof supplies and anti tip bracket installed on oven- the whole 9 yards
5. mop & broom holder
6. clothes line - we've had one everywhere we've lived except Lancaster
7. window coverings - either wooden blinds or curtains, not sure yet.
8. Laundry room floor epoxy or concrete stain
9. carbon detector
10. laundry room shelving
11. New mailbox
12. city trashcan - not sure if we buy it or if it's provided
13. 2 outdoor mats
14. 2 bathroom shower curtain rods and shower curtains
15. extra storage cabinet in bathroom
16. covered parking?
17. fence
18. lawn mower - I REALLY want a non-gasoline push one

Make it Homey
1. new front door (or paint existing one)
2. Kitchen Island shelving?
3. house plants!
4. candles for bath
5. hanging pot rack?
6. new lighting fixtures
7. Rug for Eli's room
8. Paint tree in Eli's room - also inspired by a previous house find. I really want to do a weeping willow

9. Paint Livingroom and 2 upstairs bedrooms
10. Reupholster Ansley's beloved office chairs
11. Frame bathroom window mirror
12. Decorative bathroom window

Outdoor Living
1. Porch furniture
2. Porch curtains
3. Porch plants
4. front yard - remove bushes, add flowers and birdbath
5. window boxes!
6. Deck furniture
7. Deck Pergola with hanging ivy and lights!!! (I'm trying to talk Rob into this for my birthday gift!)
8. Patio concrete stain
9. Patio furniture
10. hammock on patio
11. herb garden
12. veggie garden/ and trellis
13. Stain the deck

It's going to be hard work sticking to a budget! Perhaps, I'll start a recurring monthly hundred dollar home makeover blog post.

New Year Goals 2011

2011-01-15T13:20:00.000-08:00

There are 6. They are not resolutions - they are real measurable, actionable goals. I'm not a big fan of New Years..I know, yet another holiday that I don't like. But this is not because strangers, movies, and candy are all trying to scare me, but because it's a new beginning. I'm too sad about the old year ending- all the friends we've made, places we've been, and memories we've collected- to be excited about a new beginning. So, to get excited about the possibilities of this New Year, I've made the list.

1. Date my Husband: confession, Rob and I have not had a date sans baby since the existence of said baby. Why? Because our life has been one big ball of transition and I substituted our mobile lifestyle with out constant presence for Eli's security. Right or Wrong, it's what we did. But now, guess what, baby? we're soon moving into our own home, i.e. planting roots, i.e. in need of a baby sitter...pronto!

2. Plant a Garden: Digging in the dirt feeds my soul. Watching plants grow, harvesting veggies, gathering herbs, oh, heaven. I feel creative and like I've stripped away everything that gets in the way between me and God when I'm immersed in my plants. While I've known this about myself for a long time, I had no idea that everyone didn't feel the same way. Just since reading, Spiritual Pathways, in our small group was I reminded that we are all different. Our new home has a big yard and a great garden space that has long been neglected. I cannot wait to make it beautiful and growing again. I'm so happy that we will soon be in a place that allows me that opportunity. I've already made a list of the heirloom seed packets I'm ordering from a magazine, hopefully next week.

3. Take a Vacation: It's been while since our last real vacation. We've tagged on vacations here and there when we were flying overseas often. And during Rob's job transition we also had a couple weekend vacation like adventures. But a true, planned, quiet, toes in the sand vacation has been quite some time. Rob and I believe that a season of restoration is beginning for us and as part of that we will be dedicating funds and time to supporting a beach town at sunshine, USA sometime this summer. Hopefully, this beach town will also come equipped with population 1 babysitter.

4. Start my business: So if you haven't heard I've just become a certified Bradley Method Childbirth Instructor and Birth Doula. I've been working on my certification process ever since Eli was born. The birth of our son was so (it sounds cliche) life changing and awe inspiring that I had to help women have positive birth experiences as well. And somehow, I get the same tingly feeling learning about the wonders of our bodies during pregnancy and birth that I do gardening. Somehow it's gotta be related to how I understand God as creator. Amazing! So I've completed my student teaching, course work, and training workshop. I've got one website up and running (the really base one that Bradley wants us to keep up for their directory purposes), placed an order for my students' work books and placed a bid on an ebay female pelvis. I'm on a roll, but whenever I tick one to-do off my list, I come up with 2 more. In the near future, I need to order business cards, explore some more advertising possibilities, and get a for realsies website up. So far I've had 3 inquiries into my Childbirth course and 1 concerning the possibility of being a Doula.

5. Get Financially Organized: Rob and I do pretty well with our finances. We don't have much, but what we do have, we've managed well. However, we need to tinker a bit here and there. We'll soon be paying a mortgage and need to save for future home repairs/emergencies. We'd like to start making our money grow because I love being able to stay home with my babies and somebody's got to send them to college if they'll go. We'd like to buy some more insurance, etc. Not the most thrilling of goals, but hey, it needs to be done.

6. Spend Differently: We've already started this in the Fall, but it's a transition and been difficult while we've been living in transition. Besides groceries and health, we have a sort of order to our purchases. If it's not something we need, we don't buy it. If we need to buy it, we see if we can't borrow it. If not, we try to find it used. This option works for most anything and I've gotten over feeling weird about it or out of place in second hand stores. It's actually been a lot of fun and forced me to be more creative with solving needs. Like re-purposing old furniture, painting instead of replacing, buying fabric for do-it yourself jobs, etc. Not only does this indulge our cheap side, but when you get something off Craigslist or visit a second hand store you usually walk out with your found object and a new relationship-frugal people love to talk. If we must purchase something new, or for those fun little shopping sprees, we try and buy local. This sometimes undoes the cost savings we'll reap with borrowing or buying used, but we feel it's worth it to spend our dollars reinvesting in the community and supporting small business. It's not as much work sounds like, but it does take being conscious about our spending.

This could be a pretty good year.

Wednesday is my new Sunday

2011-01-05T12:43:00.000-08:00

The fam at our Church in Lancaster

Obviously, as the wife of a church planter, Sundays have changed quite a bit. And, while they're almost always fun and full of great friends; they are also often stressful, hectic, and long. They no longer serve as our day of rest and worship too is sometimes difficult with Eli in tow.

Mostly though, I think I miss Rob a lot on Sunday mornings and I'm having to get used to him not being here for them. We have always loved our mornings together and Sunday mornings used to be spent snuggled in bed attempting to con the other into grabbing the next cup of coffee while we watched CBS Sunday Morning. Then there'd be a mad dash 15 minutes before church began - teeth brushing, shoe finding, and clothes flying until the winner of the title of, "First Ready" got to walk smugly to church while the other cried sabotage all the way (I know I didn't put my belt in the closet). A little slice of heaven. Now, Rob is out the door by 6am and I just get a cold peck on the cheek and, "bye baby, I'll see you at church". It's sad really, and I need a little adjustment time.

I guess Sundays have changed throughout my life. In grade school, I loved the peaceful pace of a Sunday; it definitely felt different than any other day of the week. But, there was an unmistakable melancholy feel to Sunday evenings that the weekend was over and another school week would begin all too early the next morning. Then in college, if I didn't travel back to my home church, I would spend the morning relaxing, reading, resting. Some times this would be focused on my relationship with God, sometimes not, but it was most always restoring.

I'm trying to shift my thinking about what a Sunday morning means to me. Trying to lower my expectations a tad and take out some of the stress while I adjust to my new Sunday routines. And instead of fighting to make Sundays peaceful, I am switching my day of rest to Wednesday. So no longer will I complain for and have my mind and body ache for rest on Sundays. We'll get that on Wednesdays. It will be difficult, as I've been attempting this for the past couple weeks with little success. Wednesday is a work day for everybody else. In fact, it's one of only 5 "workdays", when banks and utility and insurance companies are open for business. It means I'll have to plan better so I don't spend Wednesday praying that I don't get charged a late fee. It will be difficult but every body needs a day of rest and every soul a specific time to reconnect with God and each other, sloughing off everything that's come between you that week.

Mine will be Wednesday.

Christmas, Knoxville Style

2011-01-05T04:49:00.000-08:00

Early last month - December's First Friday actually, Knoxville had a Christmas Parade downtown on Gay Street. I adore parades! It was the longest parade I think I've ever been too, but worth every bone chilling minute.

The streets were crowded with bystanders, and much of the parade consisted of your normal fare - there were tons of floats, high school marching bands, local pageant winners in fancy cars, dance troupes, etc... but then there were some that only Knoxville could offer. I love it here.

Below are some highlights -

Ginormous bottle of shampoo for the entire city's hair care needs

Teen-aged beauty queens, Nope. We are admiring our County Commissioners.

Speed boat full of kiddos

Armadillo...

Big Ball in the back of a pick-up

Elvis IS alive! And, where else would he be than in a Knoxville Christmas Parade.

Mobile Boxing Ring. We saw about three body slams before the ring rolled on by.

Local Band rocking out. The acoustics actually weren't that bad.

Hartley Festivus

2011-01-02T14:49:00.000-08:00

Happy Holidays

It's not too late for a holiday post, right? Well, here's one.

This is our 5th married Christmas, and our 2nd Christmas sans our holiday stuff. Our first married Christmas shouldn't count as "having stuff" though because we didn't even own a snowglobe (we did however have a Charlie Brown-fabulous tree). This Christmas felt oddly like the one we spent in Rwanda without our stuff, very transient and transitional. We remind ourselves often that our container is coming soon - Like whenever I need to cook in something larger than a sauce pot.

Some friends on campus loaned us a small tree with lights and ornaments. It made our tiny apartment feel so warm and full of holiday spirit. Eli helped me decorate it. Afterwards, he completely ignored it until the week before Christmas when the jingle bells just became too tempting.

After doing ALL of our Christmas shopping on Christmas Eve, we attended the Christmas Eve service at an Episcopal Church downtown. The sights, smells, Eucharist, and liturgy reminded me of our Anglican days in Rwanda. I really do love high church and especially the feeling of 'specialness' it lends to the Christmas season. This church was really cool - the kids had a mini Christmas Pageant and there were boxes of shepherd and angel costumes at the door for any visiting kids who wanted to join in. What a great way to be welcoming and think of children spending Christmas with grandparents and extended family! We spent Christmas morning by ourselves as a small family and then left Sunday afternoon for Grandma's in South GA. It was fun and very low key. How is an 11 month old supposed to react to a couple gifts under a 2 ft table top tree? Just like any other day.

Rob attempted to make us some hot cocoa. I was busy finishing dinner and didn't realize what he was doing until it was almost too late. When he asked me for a cereal bowl I knew something had gone horribly wrong. Yes, this is a cereal bowl full of cocoa powder...for 2 servings of hot cocoa. Apparently, Rob did not believe the recipe would satisfy 2 people and he needed to quadruple it. That is obviously what the calculator was for.

We had a great time visiting Rob's parents and hanging out with family and playing games. Eli really got into unwrapping presents and all the hoopla after his practice round with us. And, spoiler alert, he will soon be reading - or so says the box of dvds. His cousin Taylor was amazing with him and showed him how to unwrap. He was also quite the party animal at the dinner table and tried to convince his Grandma that bibs half on - half off were how all the babies were doing it these days.

On the 7+ hour trip down south, we discovered a new baby past time. Whatever stop we made, it was out of the car seat and into the drivers seat he came. He cackled he loved it so much, doubling over in laughter he would often times loose his footing on the seat. Honk! Honk! get outta my way. 11 months going on 16...years.

A friend of ours recently asked..So, when does it go from organic mashed green peas to hamburgers and french fries. I now have an answer - on a 7 hour car trip. Witness the first fry.

11 Months Old

2010-12-21T16:48:00.002-08:00

The little santa gnome scared Eli more than once while visiting Rob's Parents in South GA

The countdown to having a one year old begins.. I can't believe this time last year I was nesting, waddling and thinking it would be another 2 months before my little guy arrived.

It feels like I have a little boy now. He plays games, like yesterday when he picked 2 toys out of his basket and banged them together, smiled and then handed them to me to do the same. We passed them back and forth for quite some time. He LOVES to put things inside of other things and then take them out and then put them back. This amuses him for hours. Seriously, I think he does it all day. I found a box of dental floss, a tennis ball, and cheerio in my under the oven drawer last week.

lots of snow days here in East TN

He is way vocal and sings like a little chicken. He loves to "sing" along at church - so much so people stare :) He will finally repeat sounds that we make and babble along with me so that I no longer look like an idiot doing it by myself in the grocery. Peek-a-boo still rocks his world and is, in fact, the greatest thing ever. Although it should have a less-girlish name like, I'm-about-to-scare-your-face-off, as it involves hiding around corners and peeping out from behind doors. He's adventurous though cautious in his explorations. He loves to crawl through our legs and behind our backs when we're leaning up against the couch. He gives great hugs, snuggling in close and patting our backs.

He is pulling up and even walking along side the couch or his crib railing (while supposed to be napping). He'll take a step or two holding on to his walking toys, but I still feel like we're a couple months away from unassisted walking, which is fine with me! I am in no hurry for bi-ped baby. It's funny to see him try to sit from a standing position. He's learning to go down on knee then knee, but most of the time he just plops down on his bum from full standing. I fear he's going to give himself whiplash. Often times in the kitchen he'll pull up using my legs and then stand behind me holding onto my knees. This continues until someone falls; usually Eli.

Elijah has 4 teeth, weighs a little over 21 lbs and is very comfortable in 12-18 month clothes size. And the poor kid is ticklish everywhere; his giggles are so irresistible that I'm sure I tickle him way too much just to hear them. He just got another round of vaccines: DTAP and polio. We didn't have to do the 3rd round of HIB because it wasn't needed. I think we're all caught up with our vaccines as we won't start the MMR series until after his 1st birthday.

What's that? Cutest kid in the world you say? Yes, I agree.

House Hunt Ending

2010-12-21T13:54:00.001-08:00

Yes, hopefully.

Early December we placed an offer on a little house in North Hills. We had a home inspection last Saturday and it looks like a lovely 4 bedroom/2 bath basement rancher could be ours in mid January. The process is quite yucky with Saturday searches, mortgages, inspections, counter offers, etc., but we have the best team known to man (great realtors, mortgage broker and inspector). We know all these people quite well because we have been trying to find our home since....summer. It's true... we've gotten our hearts broken a few times along the way, but I really feel like God stayed with us through this whole process and we're getting a great house, one we can really make our home.

We've gotten to know our realtors quite well (a retired oral surgeon and his wife) and they are by far some of Elijah's favorite people. If you're in the Knoxville area and need a house, seriously give Keith Allison a call. They have been wonderful sounding boards, given lots of advice and information, and on more than one occasion met us with little notice to look at houses on Saturday evenings. They will be some of our first house guests once we get settled in.

We absolutely LOVE the North Hills neighborhood. It's an established neighborhood with a hidden little park, walkable streets and friendly neighbors. I even already have a friend there, a mom who goes to the same baby bookworms at the library actually gave me a heads up that this house was available.

I have to admit that it was not love at first sight. This house is new construction (New construction in North Hills? Yes, a tree fell on the previous home and it had to be torn down to the floor joists!) and lacks the 'charm' of the older homes we were looking at. However, with the lack of charm comes the low maintenance of a new home and the benefit of a solid foundation of a 60s construction. And, I will be encouraged (forced) to cultivate my inner Martha to make this house warm and homey for us. I'm already dreaming about a Pergola on the large deck, front porch curtains, a mural in Eli's room and a leyland cyprus lined fence behind my veggie garden. I have so many little projects planned that I just can't wait to get started on. Craigslist is going to be my best friend. And I may have to start a regular blog post title--hundred dollar home makeovers.

Some things I love about our (hopeful) new house:
1. It has a large basement rec/family room I can use for my Bradley classes or on rainy days as a play area

2. We have a great place for our big IKEA dining room table

3. I can garden to my heart's content in the back yard, and once it's fenced in - let Eli run around while I lounge on the lower patio eating bon bons.

4. There is a utility sink in the laundry room
5. We have 3 bedrooms upstairs - ours, Eli's, and an office/sewing room.
6. The Kitchen, Living, and Dining areas are like one big open L-shaped space, so I can be with the family as I'm making breakfast, lunch, dinner, snacks, drinks, snacks....

7. We can live energy/utility bill efficient and cozy in our small 1100 sqft upstairs while still being able to comfortably host using the downstairs 700 sqft master type suite and bonus room. So Welcome Guests!

The house is just a couple miles away from both prospective new church sites. It will be so nice to be so much closer to where are basically living - no longer having to drive 20 minutes to get...anywhere.

Right now we are still in the 10 - day inspection window and trying to decide between a 15 and 30 year mortgage. Our anticipated close date is the 21st of January, though it could be sooner if all our paper work goes through quickly during this holiday season.

A Hartley Thanksgiving

2010-11-28T19:10:00.001-08:00

Do you love when sitcoms begin at the end and work their way backwards? I do. So here goes. This is how our Thanksgiving weekend ended. Eli, completely pooped out in the back of the Tahoe. How did he get this way?

Well, we went carouseling at the Fantasy of Trees.

Attended the grand lighting of downtown Knoxville's Christmas Tree

Father and son did some serious bonding over fireworks.

Mom and baby picked out ornaments.

Saw the Holiday train exhibit at UT's garden. (It was awesome!)

Enjoyed some serious holiday family time.

Paused on Volunteer Landing for some family shots by the river.

And it all began with Thanksgiving Day lunch at Calhoun's on the River. Mmm. Nothing says Thanksgiving like some slow-roasted chicken, Spinach Maria and corn pudding. Yum. Here's the boy enjoying his first Turkey Day a la restaurant. We'll do a home for the holidays Thanksgiving when Eli's old enough to remember it ... maybe.

we've reached double digits - 1 0

2010-11-21T15:00:00.000-08:00

Eli is 10 months old! This pic is from the Fantasy of Trees at the Knoxville Convention Center. He's on the front end of a Polar Bear/Tennessee Train. Good thing I only have 2 more of the month by month pics to do because I get slower and slower getting these up each month.

Elijah is loads of fun! He's totally into Peek-a-Boo, chasing games, and riding along on his john deere tractor, patty cakish games, tickling and big open mouth kisses. He also likes to pull hair-but that is not so much fun.

Eli is pulling to standing and even takes wobbly steps along with his ride-along toys or holding onto chairs or the couch. I even peeked in on him during a non-nap to find him toddling around his crib holding onto the railing...awesome. In other breaking out news- he loves buckles, clasps and ties. He studies them intently and tries to put them together. I think he's just waiting for the day when his strength and dexterity are enough to break out of his car seat.

Eli also really enjoys "helping" mom. He helps me fold clothes by grabbing them and crawling around. He helps me cook by banging pots and crawling into the fridge. He even helps unload the dishwasher (spoon by spoon) and dryer (piece of lint by piece of lint).

He has 2 little tooth nubs barely poking through his gums. - Nights around our house have been loads of fun lately with these two shiny white chompers making their presence known. Though mommy is firmly night weaning - and by firm I mean I rock him back to sleep now instead of nursing. He's upper two teeth are also coming in strong, perhaps he'll get them for Christmas.... We sing for them daily.

My Ideal Church

2010-11-06T13:41:00.000-07:00

For the past couple months Rob and I have been part of a Church Planting Small Group at Crossings.

We were given this assignment a couple weeks ago:
"In 50-100 words describe your ideal church"

Of course I went over by a word or two, but here's what my dream church would be like:

My Ideal Church...

Is very welcoming. We have fun together and celebrate often. We share our joys together so well that they're enough to carry us through life's sorrows. We live close to one another and spend days intricately involved in each others' lives. We care about people around us in a non-do-gooder way. We care about the earth, the health of our families, and the world around us in uncool ways. We hold each other accountable. We do all this because we love Jesus and he is so good to us.

On Sunday mornings the songs are real, the teaching sound and moving. The love of God palpable. And...my baby can cry throughout.

Mark Nelson summed up my 102 word description in 1 word - Community. Yes, I think that's it!

Mama Worry, Go Away

2010-11-04T08:45:00.000-07:00

Mama Worry and her sister Mama Guilt have been beating down my door.

Before Eli was ever born Rob and I decided that we were going to parent like Eli was our 4th kid. We weren't going to panic, we would let him eat off the floor, and the 5 second rule would be extended to, if he finds it he can have it - germs can be our friend. We'd play pass the baby at parties and church and everyone would be happy and relaxed.

This lasted until week 17 of Eli's life when he stopped breathing during the night. I woke from a bad dream, checked on Elijah and found him sleeping gray and breathless. I thank God for waking me from that nightmare and giving us the state of mind to do rescue breaths to bring our little boy back to us. For letting there be time.

Nothing was ever found to be wrong with him and Dr.s labeled it a "near miss SIDS". Needless to say, this rocked our world and a sleep monitor for Eli finally allowed Rob and I to sleep soundly through the night and stop taking shifts. But, oh did Mama Worry bend my ear. Does he have brain damage, are doctors missing something, will it happen again, can we save him again, did I cause it somehow?

I suffered some serious post-traumatic stress and felt the after-effects of adrenaline in my body for days. I totally know now how moms lift cars and do all manner of crazy feats to save their babies. Within a couple weeks we resumed a new normal; our reality changed based on what we'd experienced. We celebrated having Eli with us, but unlike ever before we realized that he was in God's hands for protection and provision. We got to love, care for and look after this little boy, but he wasn't ours alone. Life could be fragile.

I struggled to take back our relaxed parenting style. For the couple months following, I was on edge. Nervous and doubting most everything. But I adopted a 'fake it 'til you make it' strategy; remaining calm and nonchalant on the outside, while quietly resolving paranoid fears in my mind endlessly entertaining Mama Worry and Mama Guilt. However unhealthy, my 'fake it 'til you make it strategy actually did work. And our healthy little boy grew and grew unencumbered by psycho mom.

With few and normal new mom/baby health scares along the way we did great and Rob and I really were able to continue parenting in a non-stressful way. Remembering what happened week 17, allowing ourselves to be forever changed by week 17, but trying not to dwell on the what could have been and trying not to let week 17 unduly and negatively influence everyday normal parenting and health decisions. We always ended those remembering discussions with God is amazingly good to us. We are incredibly lucky to have experienced God's direct intervention. He is mighty to save.

And then came last weekend. I was at a Bradley Teacher Training in Atlanta and Eli got sick. He began running the first temperature he's ever had in all of his 9 months of life. Friday night the fever began and it continued over into Saturday. Fever and a runny nose were his only symptoms and Eli wasn't phased by either. I called both his pediatricians (one in PA, one in GA) and our pharmacist to get advice on what to do until his previously scheduled appt. on Monday am. We gave him Tylenol and Motrin (the first he'd ever had) and watched him. I continued with my training and Eli continued playing, eating and drinking like normal. We were assured we could easily ride out this illness until we got to the dr.s office on Monday am. Then on Sunday afternoon after waking from a nap you could tell he felt worse and his fever was higher, 103+. We took him to the ER, but before going in we checked his temp again. It was back to 101+, so our pediatrician said it would be okay to just take him home and bring him in first thing Monday. So we went home.

Then Sunday evening around 6 after waking up from another nap, Eli appeared to have a febrile (fever induced) absent seizure from a temperature spike. We got in the car to drive back to the hospital but decided to call an ambulance instead after he projectile vomited. Poor little sick boy. His underarm temp in the ambulance was 104.5 (so more like an oral 105.5) and his pulse was close to 200 bpm. He got a mega dose of Tylenol in the ambulance and a dose of Motrin once we got to the ER. His temp came down and we came home. It was just a plain virus.

At the peds office the next day, we got an antibiotic for a possible sinus infection and our kind nurse (my nurse when I was a baby) attempted to calm my fears concerning febrile seizures. But once again Mama Worry and Mama Guilt decided to stay for a visit. What would another mom have done, does a temp that high or seizures cause long-term damage, is he going to be okay, has he had enough of the meningitis vaccine to be protected, surely this bug came from the shopping cart at the grocery-why didn't I cover the handle bar?

We spent Monday night from 5pm to 11:30pm with Eli in and out of the bath and rotating hospital dosages of Motrin and Tylenol every 3 hours. We worked so hard to keep his temp below 103.5 which was the Drs' cut off for us having to go back to the ER. He got up to 103.4. Poor sick baby.

I come from a long line of fretters. Which is a big reason I tried so hard in the beginning to not start the pattern of worrying early- To tell Mama Worry and Mama Guilt to take a hike. But man, has it been hard I feel like I've been given this perfect baby boy where my one and only job is to not mess him up - but, it is unbelievably hard! And surely, he will not escape unscathed from our parenting. My mom and Rob's were notorious (though now reformed) worriers; and they are my best cheerleaders in my anti-worry campaign. Just last night my mom reminded me not to waste this time worrying, Elijah is growing up so fast.

Fear, stress and anxiety is a terrible and exhausting frame to parent your child from, though a great way to lose weight (picture wedding day skinny-friends from years ago). Our week 17 is what I go back to when my brain senses danger and it is a perpetual tug of war between rational calm mommy and Please-Don't-Let-Him-Die panic mode. Hopefully realizing this will help me lean toward the rational calm side of my mommy brain more and more often and that time will heal the trauma we faced when Eli was so small while still remembering our reality that God gives life and keeps our babies even when we can't.

9 month-er

2010-11-01T15:54:00.000-07:00

Eli in his gaudy game day orange. Go Vols!

Elijah turned 9 months old a couple weeks ago! WooHoo!!

He is a crawling, laughing, clapping, waving, squealing bundle of non-stop action. Eli began 'real' crawling a couple weeks before turning 9 months. He eats most anything-even without any teeth, though I can now finally feel a tooth bud. Also, he's a little over 20 lbs. Weigh-to-grow kid.

He won't stay still for a second. Even the quickest diaper change involves chasing down his bare bum at least once from the other side of the room. I have now permanently set up the pack in play in our living room for when I have to leave the room. No longer do I return to find my baby exactly where I left him- He now is under the table, behind the TV or reaching under the couch....baby proofing supplies, yes please.

We take him to a lot of intramural games here at the college. Anytime the crowd gets excited we join in, too. Eli's cue to clap is when mom and dad yell "Yay!" He loves being in the know on how to act like a big kid.

Elijah began waving after his deliriously high fever on Monday at the pediatricians office. Rob was holding him and Eli waved "bye bye" to the Doctor. Nice kid, we get the picture. You're done being poked and prodded.

I know it's probably a little early for Elijah to begin talking, and maybe it's just my imagination, but I feel like Eli can say,

baby
bye bye
daddy

and, my personal favorite, "Vrroom, Vvroom." In true little boy fashion.

Let's just hope, "No" is still a couple months away.

View that I have most often now that he crawls.

A Boy and his Pumpkin

2010-10-31T10:17:00.000-07:00

As a disclaimer- Maybe I'm a party pooper, but I don't like Halloween as a holiday at all. I do love, however, dressed up kids, handing out candy, and carving pumpkins. This is wonderful and so that is what we do.

Elijah was a dinosaur! We would roar at him- he loved it and would nuzzle us back!

Eli and his pumpkin - 2010

Eli and his pumpkin - 2009.

Thanks Rob, you do a great job carving our pumpkins!

Knoxvillians

2010-10-20T05:02:00.000-07:00

courtesy of Google earth and husband

It is a process, you know.

3 big moves in 3 years of marriage.
-East Point to Kigali, Rwanda
-Kigali to Lancaster, PA
-Lancaster to Knoxville, Tn

And none of these have been simple point A to point B moves. They've all involved some sort of limbo period anywhere from 2 weeks to 3 months. As you could guess, moving is not my favorite. In fact, I hate everything about it. Cardboard boxes and bubble paper do not excite me, not even pizza on the floor with friends who've just helped us move. I have an awful attitude about it from beginning to end. I have to work really really hard to be a loving wife and to not flip out at Uhaul offices and DOTs. Me and Jesus seem to talk a whole lot during the courses of our moves.

However, over time I have noticed an ever so slight improvement in my disposition. - I'll have to ask Rob what he thinks. Perhaps it's that I'm getting better at knowing what to expect, that Rob protects me from brunt of the move, or that I allow myself more graces of imperfection. But, I do notice that I don't shutter at Lowe's purchases, random taxes, and red tape AS MUCH as I used to. But yuck, recalling all of our moves and relocation anxieties really does make my chest hurt.

Regardless, we now find ourselves in Knoxville, TN where we will be for the next 5, 20, or 100 years. Who knows- I no longer plan. We currently reside on a college campus while we search for housing. Last week we placed an offer on a house, it was accepted and we moved full force ahead. Sadly, though it turns out that sometimes previous owners feel that foundations are optional. You know it's a no-go when your home inspector says, "basically, this exterior wall is just for aesthetics-the real support is in the basement on 2x4s and concrete blocks. " Yikes.

So the search continues.

Even though it stinks to leave places we've loved and be in transition and have SO many unknowns to work through, it has been great to get here and begin to get plugged in to the area. We've already made a ton of friends through church, campus, my mama groups and getting rooted in the local community. What adds the most peace to our journey here though is how awesome it feels to be where God wants us to be. I love seeing Rob in his new role as church planter - using gifts and talents that are uniquely designed to be used here and now. That part about moving has been great.

Pumpkin Patch

2010-10-17T18:39:00.000-07:00

Saturday we took Eli to a pumpkin patch in north Knox county. After driving an hour, I thought "oh no, this is one of those ideas that sounded way better in my head. Poor husband was exhausted and just wanted to rest - and Eli has no idea that a pumpkin patch is exciting stuff...what was I thinking." But, it turned out to be a great family outing. Eli started out a little unsure of why we were there- especially on the hayride out to the patch, but quickly warmed up to a field full of bright orange globes on which he could drum and beat to his heart's content.

Here are some of my favorite shots from the day

After much searching, Rob and I selected the perfect carving pumpkin- can't wait to see what Eli thinks of that fun event!

37 in - 37 out

2010-10-16T10:06:00.000-07:00

Last week we passed quite the milestone. 37 weeks in utero and 37 weeks out-ero. In 70 something weeks this little guy has gone from blob of cells to a clapping, crawling, independent person who can dig in his toy basket all by himself. Amazing.

8 months of joy

2010-10-03T07:29:00.000-07:00

This is Elijah at Baby Bookworms. An awesome program at our local library for infants to age 2. He LOVES it; his new favorite thing to do. The librarian reads some stories, we have a snack, have mom and baby sing along songs and puppet play. He loves watching the other babies crawl walk and babble around. He will soon be picking up all kinds of new tricks I'm sure.
8 month stats:

Eli's not doing what I would call an orchestrated crawl but he doesn't let that slow him down. He gets most anywhere he wants to eventually. We now hold crawling practice daily since we've been watching the other babies at Baby Bookworms do it. Poor guy had been having to figure it all out himself with no examples before our new social outing.

Baby Bookworms has also spurred a new love. Books of course. He wants to hold one all the time...nursing, strolling, eating, etc....

We just moved Eli to his own room. And, he is now sleeping 7 or 8 hrs a night at least and last night (closer to 8 1/2 months) he slept 11 hrs! Hallelujah! He also has a clear tell of when he's sleepy. He pulls his hair and give himself this mad scientist look. It's especially cute when he pulls the tuft of hair in the back and creates a rooster tail coif.

At his last dr.'s appt he weighed in at 18 lbs 11 oz and 28 inches long. Still no teeth! and no signs of any.

**8 month stories**
Eli has developed a new talent. He now knows how to gag himself. He discovered it by accident, but after my initial startled reaction to him, he continued to do it for days afterward. Even at the dr.'s office. The nurse (after seeing him do it) responded, "they all learn how to do that eventually." What?! It's so hard not to laugh.

After an especially tumultuous afternoon of fighting sleep. Mom and baby were at our wits ends and completely frustrated with the other. I offered Eli a bitter biscuit as a last resort thinking, perhaps this will help. Eli grabbed the graham cracker and gummed it with a slobbery mouth. He then looked up at me with red tear-streaked eyes, smiled his toothless grin and held the gummy cracker up to my mouth for a nibble. My heart melted and we enjoyed our snack together.

Quite the brilliant baby, understanding different properties of states of matter still elude him. Elijah was entertained endlessly during bath time not long ago trying to "catch" water from the faucet.

Oh, and a little product-find endorsement. Flour sacks (bought at wal-mart or the dollar store in 5 or 3 packs) make the PERFECT baby bibs. they are huge, cheap and cotton. I tie it around Eli's neck and let him go to town on his dinner. They cover his entire chest and lap during a meal and afterwards I wash it out in the sink and soak it in a pail of water. When I have a load of laundry I toss it in. For stubborn stains, I add some bleach. Hmm, wonderful.

Fall in East Tennessee

2010-10-02T06:33:00.000-07:00

So, We've moved physically and soon so will my blog. to something lame and predictable like hartleyhartley.blogspot, but I'll post that here of course when I decide. I've got like 8 blog post floating around in my head, but having to share a computer with husband until we get more settled I have virtually 5 minutes to check email at 10pm. Thus no new blog entries for a few more days.
But I had to squeeze in this picture of Eli enjoying the crisp fall air here.

First Bug

2010-09-01T08:00:00.000-07:00

Eli has his first virus. We've dealt with runny noses- congestion and teething. But we're in the middle of a bout with the first stomach bug. Last night after going to bed at 8, he woke up crying at 9 and by 9:05, I was doused with vomit from head to toe. Eli seemed much better after the incident but projectile vomiting is enough to unsettle anyone. After vomiting on my shoulder, he looked up at me like, "what's happening" and projectile vomited all over the front of my shirt, then turned and got my lap and legs and the carpet. My mom heard all the commotion and my pleas for help which Eli met with more vomit. Grandma and dad arrived just in time to get the after throw-up, "I feel better" smiles and general cuddly malaise. I got a shower and Rob ran to Kroger to get some Pedialite. I had chocked up annoying clingy-ness and general crankiness to normal baby-ness, but I guess now I know.

Today we're resting and recovering. Eli seems to be doing much better. But it still feels like a PJ kinda day.

Eli's Eats and Chicken baby food recipe

2010-08-30T13:00:00.000-07:00

We waited for most of the signs books will tell you to see before you begin solid food. Eli was sitting up, about 6 months, showing interest, chewing, moving food to the back of his mouth, etc. and I wanted to wait until after he had had at least a couple vaccines so I could provide him with as many antibodies as possible without worrying about him filling up on cereal. We began with a sippy cup of water and man did he think he was big stuff, but he ditched that in a few days when he realized the cups we drank out of flowed much more freely. He now drinks out of a regular cup unless we're traveling and need the amazing technology that is 'spill-proof'.

We tried rice cereal next which I think he liked at first because of the novelty. We tried a little every couple days, adding a little something to it until he finally convinced me he just didn't like any kind of cereal. Moving on - yellow veggies?...no, bananas. I'm a rule breaker I guess. Eli loved bananas. By the way he eyes them in the kitchen, I think he could more easily recognize a banana than me in a crowd.

Eli has steadily become a 'social eater' wanting just a little while in his highchair at the dinner table to be part of the activity. At first, he didn't eat everyday consistently or the same number of meals everyday. It still varies. I was never too concerned with that because nursing still meets all of his nutritional needs. Now, however, it's much more likely that he cries when he doesn't also get a little bite of food when he sees someone else munching.

(Eli helping picking out food at the grocery-sitting in the grocery cart is Eli's favorite thing. It's a great way to pass the time on a fussy day!)

We noticed from the get go that he loved picking up food and getting it to his mouth. Puffs, rice, banana bits, peaches, avocados are great for this. And anything that was on a spoon, he grabbed the handle and directed it to his mouth. So, we ditched the pureed foods and whatever he can get in his mouth he eats (basically). This has made life uber simple (except for the bigger mess to clean up - Eli and highchair and floor. I love for him to eat what we're eating and we'll take out an Eli helping before the family's food is seasoned. To supplement that, I've got carrots and peas and applesauce on hand. I didn't follow the recommended start with yellow, then this, then that. I read that if you've waited to 6 months and breastfed, it's really unlikely that your baby will react poorly to modified family table foods. That made sense to me and so if it's not on the "Do Not Feed to Baby Allergen List" (i.e. milk, peanuts, citrus), heavily seasoned, or take-out. I'll rip or mush a little bit of our food up for him.After doing some reading, I discovered that this approach is called Baby-led Weaning and people say it helps infants control how much they eat and encourages exploration of foods. I also think it's just simpler.

I got a ton of ideas of easy and nutritious baby friendly foods and how to prepare them from the website below. It also has pdf versions of what your baby may be ready to eat at different ages AND fruit, veggie, and other finger foods for the babyled weaning approach. The website also has a list of spices and menu ideas that are really baby friendly and 'spice' up bland food and recipes to make you own food items like teething biscuits and baby pancakes. It has been a great resource. Eli and I have enjoyed it immensely.

Babyled Weaning
Menu Ideas for Babyled Weaning
Fingerfoods
Age appropriate food chart - (sample 6-8 months)

CHICKEN:

Eli ADORES chicken, although he still has a bit of a hard time gumming shreds of it up enough (I've heard babies love to chew on chicken leg bones with morsels of chicken still on the bone- haven't tried this yet).

I decided to try to make my own chicken baby food since Eli loves it and at the grocery it costs about 95 cents a jar. I bought an all natural whole small chicken about 4.5 lbs for around 3 bucks. I cooked it in the crockpot along with a couple carrots and 1 onion for some light seasoning. While I waited for the broth to cool and separate, I pulled the meat from the bone. I filled muffin tins with part meat, part chicken broth (removing the fat that had risen to the top of the chicken broth) and froze them for about 2 hours. Once the were well frozen, I popped them out and into a big ziploc baggie. Voila. I got about 18 muffin cups from one chicken. And each muffin cup (once defrosted at meal time and pureed with my little hand-cranked baby food maker - And now that Eli's older, sometimes I just rip the chicken chunks up for him to grab) makes about a half jar of grocery store chicken.

Grand total - A little over 30 cents per jar! ca-ching, money in the bank.

7th Heaven

2010-08-23T18:59:00.000-07:00

I can't believe I have such a big boy! 7 months, wow.

Eli is, as you can see, sitting up now all by himself. For a few weeks now, he's been sitting and playing independently; amusing himself for much longer than I expected possible. He loves to play. It's so fun to see him want a toy, work to get it, reach for it and explore. I told Rob that I thought Eli scooted a little today on his rear end to get closer to me and Rob said, "oh yeah, I've seen him do that a couple times". So, we're on our way to mobility!

He's been able to blow raspberries for awhile now, but we've hit a new level of preoccupation with this ability. Also, he rattles off all kinds of syllable combinations, including dada (though not yet directed at Rob).

We may soon be entering into the "separation anxiety" phase, as well. For the past few days, Eli's protested when I left the room. We'll have to watch to see if this continues. I guess it's just another realization that we are two separate people.

For about a month now, we've been dabbling with solid foods (more in a later post). Basically, he likes the new tastes and novelty of it, and especially the ability to pick up the food himself and get it to his mouth, but we're nowhere near getting more than just a smidgen of our calories from table food yet.

And sleeping. We're down to 2.5 naps a day. He normally naps a couple hours after he wakes in the morning (around 9 or 10) and if it's a good day sleeps for 2 hours. He'll then have another good nap (sometimes 1.5 or 2 hours) around 3 or 4 in the afternoon. Undoubtedly, though, he'll catch a short 15 minute snooze mid afternoon. He's not quite ready to give up that 3rd nap of the day! We're by no means a schedule family (husband and baby would have none of the sort) yet. This is the closest we've ever came to having a semblance of a schedule- and any number of things can change our day to day (long car trips, etc) and Eli just rolls with it.

In the evenings, Eli will go down for the night now around 8pm. Hallelujah, it had been 10pm. Rob and I have switched night time roles, can I get another Hallelujah? Rob now gets up with him first and soothes him. If he's hungry, Rob will pass him too me, but if it's his gums, a stuffy nose, or the need for a midnight snuggle, Rob takes care of it. This new schedule began after Elijah slept for an 8 hour stretch for a couple nights. We decided to try switching roles because I began to feel like after the original cause for waking was remedied it was followed by a, "and now that I'm up I'd like a snack, mom". We seem to both be getting more sleep these days, and Eli seems to be fine with this arrangement, which makes me feel like he was ready for this transition.

I'm all for getting up with your babies at night (it encourages lighter sleep for baby reducing SIDS, night nursings provide important calories for tiny growing babies and too-busy-during-the-day infants, and provides comfort) and I know that through toddler hood, our night-time wakings will ebb and flow during teething, growth spurts, sickness, and random things like changes in his environment (can you say moving?). Night times are still an adventure because whenever Rob is away or we're traveling, our new system seems to falter. And 8 hour stretches are still, by far, the exception in our house. But for now, our nighttime fiestas are fine with me - feeding him and drifting back to sleep isn't that big of a deal.

Eli's Vaccination Schedule

2010-08-14T10:13:00.001-07:00

After much thought, prayer and worry. We finally settled on a vaccine schedule for Eli.

I used to not understand why parents hesitated to vaccinate their children; but after Rob and I were vaccinated for our travels to Africa and had mild reactions ourselves and the whole mercury-autism scare happened, I knew I would want to look into it before we choose what was best for our family. Once we found out we were having a boy, I also wanted to be very cautious as the rate of autism among boys is so much higher than that of girls- and so many people still point fingers at vaccines as a leading cause (more and more people believe that autism is due to heavy metal poisoning). I think it would be really interesting for someone to research if boys' blood-brain-barrier remains more penetrable and for longer than baby girls'.

Well, my lack of decision defaulted into a decision pro procrastination. Everything I read left me more conflicted. I knew I didn't feel right about vaccinating a 3 week early 2 month old and I asked to delay until 2 months after his due date. That day came and went and I still didn't feel his body was ready.

Because Rob was no longer traveling internationally, I was exclusively breastfeeding, and Eli wasn't in day care of any kind, I felt delaying a little longer while we worked out a selective, spaced out schedule was better than jumping right in. Still, the more I read the more conflicted I became.

Even after studies show that the thimersal (mercury) in infant vaccines did not cause autism (i'm still not sure I buy this), and it has been removed from most all infant vaccines (check your brands), there are still a lot of nasty ingredients that can make babies sick and some worry cause damage to young systems that aren't mature enough to handle them.

But after 5 months, the worry scale began to tip the other direction. I heard whooping cough everywhere and even made Rob leave a Hardee's after I heard a baby cough next to us that sounded especially juicy. I could see meningitis germs lurking anywhere, even on the purest of church bulletins. As Eli gained the skill to be able to grab and taste even things outside of his reach, I knew it was getting close to time to vaccinate. And a little shy of 6 months, we were at my old pediatrician's office getting our first shot.

We decided to space them out and pair ones with higher levels of aluminum with lower or no aluminum vaccines and higher reactive ones with milder vaccines. We're going to try our best to catch chicken pox naturally as it is amazingly better at providing lifelong immunity among other benefits over the vaccine. This is what we came up with:

Eli's vaccination schedule

6 m - DTaP, HIB (7-7-10)
7 m - Prevnar (8-4-10)
8 m - DTaP, HIB
9 m - Prevnar
10 m* - DTaP, HIB
11 m* - Prevnar
13 m - Polio**
16 m - Mumps, Polio**

19 m - Prevnar, HIB
22 m - DTaP

2y 4m - Rubella, Polio**
2y 10m - Hep A
3y 4m - Measles**
3y 9m - Hep A
4y 4m - DTaP, Polio**
5y 4m - MMR

* These shots may be unnecessary since we began the series so late, we don't quite know if this is the case yet. If they are unneeded, we'll bump the next shots up by a bit.
** We may still do some playing around with the placement of the polio, and M, M, R shots

We'll decided on flu shots as the season presents and our options available..

This schedule does lead to some visits in-between check-up visits. But, our office is so convenient and supportive. We just schedule an appt. with the nurse, pop in get a shot and in 10 minutes we're out.

So far, Eli has done AMAZING with all 3 shots he's received. He wasn't the first bit cranky, did not run a fever, and only had minor irritation at the injection site. And this with no Tylenol! Will we use the same schedule for any other little Hartleys? Maybe, but probably not. I'm sure each child's needs will be a little different. For instance, we won't start vaccinating at 2 months, but I can't imagine us delaying until 6 months with big brother Eli running around with his rat pack toddler friends, eating mud, etc...

Mothering Magazine and The Vaccine Book by Dr. Sears were by far my favorite resources during this process.

Life in Limbo

2010-08-12T17:42:00.001-07:00

Lately I feel as though I am just posting monthly updates which doesn't make for very interesting blogging, even if the world is able to witness Eli becoming more adorable by the month.

So what does our life look like in Limbo, GA preparing for Knoxville? Well, it's been great hanging with the fam and catching up with friends. After almost 2 years away (1 in Africa & 1 in PA) it's great to be close and refuel with family before we begin this church planting adventure. It's definitely a challenge though to mother and wife in a home not your own, but if making sure everyone is fed and clothed equals success then we're doing about average. I'm really looking forward to getting settled in Knoxville and exploring our new town. But with the good comes the bad...unpacking.

We've been doing a lot of house hunting. And with the clock ticking down until we must be in Knoxville, the search for a house has morphed into apartment search, teepee or dry barn quest. Anywhere will do. I actually did find the house of my dreams yesterday online and I'm counting on a lapse in judgment on the owners' part of accepting 50k less than their asking price. Positive thinking: It will be mine very shortly.

Our bio is up on the Crossings website. Please peruse the staffs bios to get an idea of all the great people Rob will be working with and our new friends. We get more excited by the day to be part of that community. I still have my moments when I worry that all these transitions, a young family, and the challenging task of beginning a church will get the best of me and leave me completely poured out. I ask Keight's question of "Are you trying to ruin my life?" daily to Rob and Jesus. But in all fairness, I wanted both of them to be part of my life and with that comes challenges and changes that I wouldn't have dared on my own. And at the end of the day (actually in the morning before 2pm exhaustion hits), I can't wait for TN and church CCF-style.

Rob sent out our support letters today, so if you wanna get a jump on donating and making sure this little guy gets to keep eating chicken and carrots visit Rob's website and pledge some big bucks.

Mastitis...repeat

2010-08-12T05:40:00.000-07:00

I came down with Mastitis just a few days after Rob's family reunion and our big move down south. It lasted a full week and I was the sickest I've been since I was newly married and almost killed myself painting our East Point house in the dead of winter with no open windows (this leads to pneumonia and bronchitis). Come to find out there is a good reason why they say to paint in a well ventilated room.

Since Eli was almost 6 months old when the first case of mastitis- the bane of nursing mothers - hit, I think it was most likely due to fatigue from the move and chronically low iron. (I ran out of iron pills shortly before the move and didn't bother to get anymore thinking I would just wait until we got to GA to replenish my supply--great idea.) I woke up one Monday morning with some serious flu like symptoms and a red, aching, sore chest. I'd learned in La Leche to stay in bed with baby, nurse nurse nurse, and drink plenty of water. By late afternoon, though, I decided I may need to call my midwife because my symptoms were only getting worse with a temperature 103 point something and climbing. I got an antibiotic and spent the better part of the next week in bed and making life easy switching over to disposable diapers and catching up on lots of TV.

About a month later, earlier this week, I found myself with similar symptoms, though not quite as severe. I knew the storm was brewing. I preemptively went to bed and tried the au natural route to healing. I felt awful passing along antibiotics to Eli the first go around and thought I may be able to avoid them this time since my symptoms were much more mild. Though after a day of trying and another really high fever, with the 2nd case of mastitis in a month, I decided I should go to my old ob/gyn nurse in Conyers.

Fearing the worse - (remember I hate drs. offices and hospitals and acknowledging I need them, I tried my best to talk Rob into taking me home from the hospital an hour before Eli was born and only went in the first place because he threatened to pick me up and put me in the truck himself. Can you imagine being picked up mid-contraction? PAIN!) - I imagined I had defective mastitis prone breasts that pooled milk and that they would have to stick me with needles. How could I continue to nurse Eli (painful, yet relieving though it was during the illness) knowing this could happen again, let alone nurse future babies if my lot was to get mastitis again and again?

Turns out it's very unlikely for one to be prone to mastitis. They think that the first antibiotic (Dicloxicillan, a narrow spectrum form of penicillin- which treats the most common form of the infection) was the wrong med for my case and I've actually been sick since late June just suppressing the illness enough to get by. Whew- I thought I was just especially pathetic and whiny the past couple weeks.

The new Rx seems to be working well and I'm thankful to be getting rid of this for good. I still feel guilty giving Eli trace amounts of the antibiotic but everyone's assured me that the amount is so minimal that it's perfectly safe. First time mom that I am though, every time he cries now I'm sure he's suffering from side effects from the drugs :( -- Hopefully this feeling passes in the next few days.

I got a lot of great information and support from a website Kellymom.com on all kinds of nursing related issues, our bradley instructor/la leche league leader, and Rob's sweet parents who nursed me back to health during our supposed to be fun visit with them in June.

Pool Party

2010-07-25T13:48:00.000-07:00

We celebrated Elijah's 6 month marker by going to the pool!

We waited for the perfect 100 degree day to go swimming. After liberally applying baby sunscreen (can you imagine anything worse that a sun burnt baby?) and bringing along our rubber duckies we headed to bff faith's mom's pool. On the short 5 minute car ride over, I thought Eli was particularly quiet. After crooning my neck back to look in his carseat, I discovered him dutifully licking the sunscreen off every body part he could reach. I hope baby sunscreen companies test for that... I guess mango scented lotion is confusing to an infant who has just been introduced to the taste bud tingling wonders of fruit.

Eli and Casper the dog became fast friends, Rob and Casper is another story.

Update: Crossings Knoxville

2010-07-21T14:22:00.000-07:00

Rob accepted a position with Crossings Church in Knoxville, TN in June! We'll soon be heading up that way...

We are really excited about this new adventure. Rob will be the lead church planter of the new Crossings Church campus in Knoxville.

We went shopping for a home last weekend, and until we find it we are living between parent's homes in GA. We're loving the time with family, while also looking forward to this new beginning with our young family.

Check out the Crossings website and Rob's website.

Rockin' and Rollin' at 5 months

2010-07-14T16:33:00.001-07:00

Eli loved hanging out on the dock at Rob's Parents where he celebrated his 5 month marker.

He wasn't quite rolling over yet, but it finally did happen at about 5 months and 1 week.

Other monumental 5 month happenings include:

Eli had the first vaccines ever of his young little life at 5 1/2 months. We got DTaP and HIB, to be followed next month with the prevnar vaccine. He did great, he only silent cried for a few moments and then slept then entire way home from the doctor's office. He never was cranky or ran a fever. I feel good to begin the vaccination process now and am really happy he did so well with his first round.

Eli also began eating and drinking other than at mom's cafe at 5 months and 3 weeks.

First came the sippy cup with water (and a splash of apple juice if Grandma got a hold of it)

and then came the rice cereal

he enjoys both, but his favorite by far is to drink out of a real cup that mom or dad is holding. Rob has doused him more than once with a big swig of water.

Eli also responds to his name, lifts up his hands to be picked up, and has found his feet! This little guy gets cooler and cooler with every passing month.

Rob's Parents, Reunion

2010-07-14T16:05:00.000-07:00

So much to catch up on! We have lost our camera cord forever I'm convinced or packed it in a box never to be opened again, so I broke down and bought the neatest thing. You put your camera card in it and plug it into your USB port to automatically download the pics off your camera. I'm sure the majority of the population under 30 is way more tech savvy than me and already knows of such wonders, but it's cool to me.

We arrived at Rob's Parents' home on June 18th. The next day there was a huge Hartley Reunion. I love family and had a blast seeing everyone. It was also really special because Eli got to meet his all of his cousins for the first time.

Below are some pics from the reunion

Rob with his cousins, and Eli with his.

Amy's daughter Hartley (7 months) was fascinated with Eli. Eli had other things on his mind. Sorry Hartley, boys are funny creatures.

Eli with his doting cousin Taylor

Phase 1 Move - Complete

2010-06-16T11:57:00.000-07:00

Goodbye Lancaster County, PA.

Rob and I pulled out of 218 E. Orange Street on Monday around 4pm. Just in time to hit rush hour traffic in Harrisburg. We left a POD in the driveway to be picked up later, drove to UHaul and loaded a packed out Saturn with a bike rack onto an autotransport towed by a packed out Tahoe. And, we were off. Eli and I sat in the back among baby play mats, a boucy and a wire baker's rack. How have we accumulated so much stuff since we returned from Africa? I guess a baby will do it. Eli is an experienced mover - this being his second big move. His first, of course, was out-of-utero where his only possessions were a placenta and umbilical cord. Since then, he has accumulated much: pack n play, crib, toys, exersaucer, bath, clothes, I could go on and on.

However, with the horrors of packing, cleaning, and moving out sufficiently behind us, I broke out the Chocolate Wilbur buds and Turkey Hill tea (gifts from our friend Kelly) in the UHaul parking lot. Is it dogs or babies that you can't give chocolate too? I always forget. Let the road trip begin. We made our way down the highway to Roanoke, VA to spend the night on our way to GA by way of Knoxville, TN.

Earlier in the day, I left Rob to finish up the packing while I headed to a Day Spa courtesy of one special friend Heather Quiggle. I anticipated using this wonderful gift on my birthday during those last few trying weeks of pregnancy; however, the little man wanted to come out to play a little earlier than expected and I ended up sticking the gift card to the fridge dreaming about the day I'd be able to get away from husband and baby long enough to be sufficiently pampered. Well, that day never arrived, but I loaded up a sleeping puppy into the car and headed out anyway. He slept the entire time, and my feet have never felt so loved.

Tuesday, Rob and I left the Roanoke hotel a little more sore from moving and significantly more road-weary. We kept it together until about an hour outside of Knoxville, where traveling with an infant after a week's worth of moving caught up with us. An epic argument ensued concerning such important issues as where Rob's toothbrush was, why the propane tank was left in our apartment basement, why Garmin sent us on a detour and who was upsetting the baby more. Never fear, we too are now able to laugh at the absurdities of the afternoon and the Hartley's are staying together. We're really enjoying our time visiting Crossings in downtown Knoxville, TN. We'll be here for the rest of the week until we head down to Alamo, GA for the big Hartley family reunion where Eli will meet his 4 new cousins for the first time!

And, not to rehash any previously mentioned arguments but there are no pictures with this entry because my camera is currently MIA since our move from Lancaster.

I guess this move means a new blog name should be forthcoming.

PA to GA

2010-06-02T17:47:00.000-07:00

There are no pictures to go with this post...just imagine utter chaos.

We are moving all earthly possessions from Lancaster, PA to GA.

Trying to pack up and move with a 4 month old does not top my list of "Fun Summer Activities". When exactly am I supposed to pack? Between nursings and changings? While he plays? That only lasts so long. And our hard core napper can sleep through a lot, but banging pots and dropping boxes are too much to ask.

It is HOT in Lancaster and we have no central air. Nightly thunderstorms have been our saving grace.

Yesterday, I filled bags and bags full of clothes to go to GoodWill. Why do I have so many clothes that no longer fit? Oh post-pregnancy body, I thought we were on the same team.

I'm still somewhat in denial we are moving. I am ecstatic to be with family, but the monumental task of packing it all up keeps me from facing the reality.... 9 days and counting until our move- out date of the 14th.

Recent Pictures

2010-05-31T19:23:00.000-07:00

This is Elijah's new favorite nursing position. He's so relaxed!

I know we may be months away from a tooth, but teething has begun making me all too aware that my days of toothless grins are numbered.

The big talker in action

The boys chillin' out in the knoxville hotel room. Who's closer to the remote?

He's a charmer, just like his daddy

Bradley Get together

2010-05-28T18:48:00.000-07:00

Our Bradley Birth Class had a cook-out/reunion a few weeks ago now that everybody's babies are here. The babies' ages range from about 5 months to 6 weeks. Some people had their babies at home, others in hospitals or birth centers. For most of us this was our first baby, but it was all of our first attempts at a natural child birth.

We learned so much together in our Thursday night classes. Much more than any of us expected, I'm sure. But so much more than learning how to work with our bodies to birth our babies, we learned a way of parenting that has helped shape the parents we're learning to become. I feel like our group has gotten hit a little hard as pretty much all of us have had some sort of scare or trauma surrounding our new babies. But equipped with the knowledge from our Bradley classes, we learned how to work with the medical community to achieve the best outcome possible for our young families. I can't recommend the Bradley method enough!

It was such a sunny day and so great to get together. We shared birth stories, ate hamburgers, talked about hitting and missing milestones, ate hot dogs, and introduced future best friends and spouses.

From Left to Right: Kelly (one of the most influential people in my new mothering endeavors), Eli (looking for lunch), Danielle (a few more gray hairs than last summer, but all in all looking pretty good after 4 months of motherhood)

Look at all those babies! In no particular order these are the fruits of our birth class. Evenly divided- 3 boys, 3 girls

Husband and baby. Looking good guys.

Eli's 4 months

2010-05-27T18:35:00.000-07:00

This is our growing boy on his 4th month-abirthday.

Eli loves being with his people. He likes watching Rob and me and making sure we're watching him! Elijah smiles on cue, enjoys silly songs and will rotate his body if he's playing on the floor so that he can watch TV, too. He likes being outside and looks for birds if they're singing because they sound like his mobile. He's got awesome head control and enjoys "telling stories". Rob and I have noticed a funny thing lately. Elijah is scare-able now. You'll know when you've scared him because he will throw his arms back and his bottom lip will pout out and quiver. It's the saddest thing you've ever seen.

Rob discovered this by accident and I've never seen him feel so guilty before.

My First Mother's Day

2010-05-26T18:25:00.001-07:00

Rob and I were lucky enough to get to share my first mother's day with family. My mom and aunt met us in Knoxville, TN and we spent an awesome weekend together. They spoiled all 3 of us and we enjoyed being with them immensely.

Eli gave me a card for mother's day which he amazingly signed. Rob's original plan was to put the card in the car seat so that I'd find it when I picked Eli up. Good thing he didn't. Elijah did unmentionable ugliness like never before. Seriously, the diaper must have malfunctioned. I'm glad Rob went with option 2 so that I don't have to keep my 1st mother's day card in a ziploc baggie.

Proper Motivation

2010-05-26T18:07:00.000-07:00

Elijah has ALWAYS hated tummy time. I know it's good for him and helps him develop muscles, but he hated it and after a few pathetic waa's I'd roll him over on his back and promise to try again another day.
We recently visited our new pediatrician. He gave Eli a mini baby physical and noted that his upper body strength was still developing. "That's okay," he said, "I wouldn't expect to see more until 4 months and besides he may be a little bottom heavy."

Bottom heavy? Oh no, doc. Wait till you see us next month, we'll have upper body strength out the wazoo. I decided then and there, we were going to stick to tummy time. No pathetic waa's were going to deter me.

The next day we began. About a minute in, Elijah cried and quickly face planted into the mat. No more tummy time. His upper body would just have to develop another way.

I told my mom about this while we were visiting in Knoxville. She suggested letting him watch cartoons on a boppy.

Ahhhh! The little stinker just needed the right motivation. He's been a happy tummy-timer ever since.

Eli is 3

2010-04-21T15:54:00.000-07:00

Eli turned the big 3.0 months yesterday and here's his big boy picture.

To celebrate, we went to Wendy Jo's Homemade...Eli wanted a mint chocolate chip milkshake.

Things that are new for us

-Lots and lots of smiles! It took us awhile to get here, but all these toothless grins are enough to send my mommy heart over the edge.

-conversations. Elijah has a lot to say. He coos-long multi-sound coos, responds to my questions, and dare I say sings and tells jokes that crack him and me up. At his one month check-up, the Dr. asked us if he regarded us. After Rob said, "yes, highly," I began to think, "no, not much eye contact yet." But at a full 3 months, "yes, highly indeed." Eli wants to be in the conversation now.

-Where's mom? With the Grands in town last weekend, we all noticed that Elijah was turning toward my voice and looking for me. Oh, the joys of motherhood.

Up next for us... I think Elijah will be rolling over in no time.

Veggie of the Week

2010-04-07T13:57:00.001-07:00

I often blog about Market. Like most people in Lancaster City, my life pretty much revolves around Market days. It's an excellent place to get local seasonal veggies, a cup of coffee, fresh baked goods and breads, even plants, flowers, and teas. At about a mile round trip from our house, it was a great distance for a pregger to walk. And now, it works too with Eli externally in tow

Having Market close by has lead to my institution of our "Veggie of the Week" program. Every week, I choose a new and exotic vegetable, like beets, and cook it a couple of different ways to see if we like it at all. For example, parsnips are fantastic roasted, but disgusting in a crock pot. Google has been a great friend in giving me recipes to try, as well as old ladies at Market.

Some recent favs- fennel (in eggs), cauliflower (mashed like potatoes) and swiss chard (sauteed like spinach). It makes for great fanfare at the dinner table and I'm hoping to sneakily make our family healthier by adding to my vegetable recipe repertoire.

Below is a completely unrelated picture taken a few weeks ago of a Bluegrass band outside Central Market one Saturday.

My Little Man

2010-04-06T08:27:00.000-07:00

The little guy's growing up.

I was a couple weeks late taking this photo. But in the grand scheme of things I'm pretty sure it doesn't matter.

3 month photo coming in 2 weeks! How time is flying.

The Making of a Hartley Family Photo

2010-04-04T19:07:00.000-07:00

Sans help and with baby.

2 days prior to Easter
"Rob, I'm really excited about our first family Easter picture"

1 day prior to Easter
"Husband, I can't wait to take our picture tomorrow, Aren't you excited?"
-Blank stare from husband

Easter Morning
"Now, you know, I'm going to want a family picture today."

Easter After Lunch and guests have gone home
Me:"We didn't take our picture. Should we go ask the neighbors to take it, find somebody in the park or just set the timer and do it in the dining room?

Rob: "What?, a picture? Now? But look at me and my boy, we're so comfy on the couch"
-Blank stare from me

Rob: "Let's just take it in the dining room."

I'm okay with this because PA has some crazy plant that's blooming right now and sending my nose into a great allergic spasm.

I set a small table on top of the dining room table, not tall enough. Coffee maker on top of the small table, ugh, still not tall enough. Hmm, recipe box on top of the coffee maker on top of the small table. Okay we're in business- a little wobbly but okay.

Test shot of me pretend-holding baby.

Time Out - Baby spit up all over Easter Outfit and cries. Baby cries hard.
Rob reconfigures my set up and test shot while I clean up baby and my shirt.

The next attempt not shown due to how close I am to dropping Eli (No babies were harmed in the making of this photo). At this point, Rob is still in his T-shirt and jeans.

Me: And now, You're going to have to pretend like you like us.

Rob: Where did my head go?

Me: I think the baby should at least be facing the camera

Amazingly enough, for the next 5 auto-timed pictures Eli faces the camera until the last 2 seconds, despite my best efforts to keep his head turned outward.

Me: Take 17? Good Enough. We're done.

Mama's got a Brand New Trick

2010-04-04T18:21:00.001-07:00

White Noise...

I thought this trick only worked for older babies or kids. We discovered this by accident. I was doing some pre-Easter cleaning and Eli was not cooperating with my cleaning endeavors. Fed, changed, and sufficiently cuddled, I decided he would not suffer any long-term effects if I laid him in the pack n play while I vacuumed the adjoining room. If I could just get that one room vacuumed, I'd lay my cleaning endeavor aside and love on my baby.

My mom tells this story: Once when I was three or so she was trying to mop the kitchen, and I walked in and wanted her to pick me up and hug me. She was in the middle of the kitchen floor with a sopping wet mop, half the floor clean - half waiting to be done. She asked me to hold on just a second, she'd soon be finished. But as soon as she'd said those words, she felt like God reminded her of how often she'd prayed for babies and how we'd soon outgrow walking with dirty feet across her freshly mopped floor asking to be held. She said she put her mop right down and squeezed me.

I remind myself of this story when Eli's need for mothering comes in direct conflict with my endless to-do list. And this was on my mind when I was trying to get my house in shape for company. I plugged up the vacuum and tried to get just that one room at least vacuumed, then we'd call it a day. After a quick scan across the room, I clicked the vacuum off and glanced at my baby. He was out.

Awesome. Sleeping baby, happy mom. Let's vacuum the next room...and the next... and the next. He slept for 2 hours, which for him, was amazing!

Since this, I have discovered not only the vacuum works, but water running in the kitchen sink, the dishwasher, the box fan (on setting 3), and water running in the shower. This boy is now actually taking naps. I'm starting to realize what a fussy sleepy baby looks like and I take him right in to his crib or pack n play, turn on the box fan and watch him go out like a light. He's a better rested, happier baby since we learned the white noise trick. I highly recommend it.

Eli has a new trick

2010-03-30T08:51:00.000-07:00

He has mastered the flip out. He is now able to go from easy-going baby to what the heck happened we were all happy 0.2 seconds ago. Those of you who are parents perhaps know the cry of which I speak. The coughing- spitting- red in the face- I refuse to breath cry.

For example, we were driving home from a new mom class that Women & Babies Hospital offers every other Friday, both very happy campers. Eli had just been weighed (12.5 lbs!) and then after all the babies are weighed by the lactation consultant you can stay for a class if you like. This week it was on Baby Massage. (I learned a really cool move to help Eli deal with gas pain!) After class we loaded up in the car - Eli having just been quite relaxed.

Less than a mile down the road, it hit. The spit cry. I never know how to handle it when Eli cries in the car and it's just me. Do I pull over? is he hungry? Do we ride this out? Can I sing over his cries? Is it bad to turn the radio up? Can we please, Lord, get all green lights. His little cry was gut wrenching and I pulled over into a gas station thinking maybe he's hungry. (Is this something you only do with first babies?) I can't get him out of the car seat fast enough, fumble around trying to get my shirt up, and regret having chosen the sketchiest trucker gas station in Lancaster at which to try clumsily to discreetly feed him.

He nurses for all of a second and then passes out. Oh, gosh. Thoughts fly through my head like, "have you passed out from hunger?" - surely not. "Did you hold your breath so long that no oxygen got to your brain?" "Are you seriously asleep so quickly after all that racket and after I had to whip'em out at a truck stop"? EAT!

I proceeded to do what I (unfortunately) always do when I can't tell if he's asleep or stopped breathing. First, I stick my finger under his nose to see if I feel hot breath. This almost never satisfies my wondering. Then, I watch his chest or clothing or head to see if I can tell if he's breathing. This second test only works about half the time. If neither of the above tests work, I poke him until he startles or grunts. Sorry baby.

Why do I wonder if my baby is not breathing? Well, I think to a certain degree every new parent may wonder this. However, this initial "normal" new parent wondering (I believe) was compounded in the hospital the day Eli was born. There was a bit of hubub after Eli arrived about his breathing because he was a little early. He didn't pink up right away (most likely a result of being born so quickly) and he did what the nurses called "singing", which is basically a newborn that whimpers, hums, breaths loudly, to get the amniotic fluid up and out of their lungs. They basically took a wait and see approach to determine if any additional help would be needed and sent us to our recovery room. The nurses settled us in for the night and were about to leave when in my blood-lost, post delivery, first time mom stooper asked, "but don't we need to make sure he doesn't stop breathing. Doesn't somebody need to stay awake to make sure he's breathing." He's never had to breath before and maybe it's a lot of work for such a little guy? I don't know. Instead of the nurse laughing at me and saying "Don't be silly. He's fine." She very seriously replies, "make sure to keep his head elevated and call us if you need any help." What kind of answer is that? One that has left me startling my son awake long after the "singing" stopped.

Sorry for the tangent. To remind you where we are in the story, we're still at the sketchy trucker gas station and my very unhappy baby is now peacefully concked out. So, I poke him- to make sure he is just sleeping. He startles without waking. And I put him in his carseat and we finish the journey home.

This along with a few other instances have left me sure that the spit-cry (for now)is almost always an indicator of exhaustion and need for nap time.

alphabet fridge

2010-03-23T11:02:00.000-07:00

The day before Eli was born, I was at Target and bought the mandatory alphabet magnets for our fridge.
In the weeks since his birth, Rob and I have had fun arranging them. First it started with me pulling out the letters for Eli's name, then Rob added Boy and for the remaining letters, we had a contest of who could come up with the longest word with the remaining consonants and only vowel u. We tied, Rob with Struck and me with Trunks. Last week, we were finally able to use all the letters at once. Ah, the things that amuse new parents.

A Change is Gonna Come

2010-03-18T10:19:00.000-07:00

"You guys are Crazy" is a phrase Rob and I have heard quite a few times in our young married life. In fact, let's recap:

We got engaged and planned a wedding in 2 1/2 months. Then, moved into a foreclosure house and fixed it up WHILE IN graduate school living on 2 stipends. A short time later, we picked up and moved to Rwanda. We've recently moved back to the US to a place where we knew virtually no one and had a baby. Whew, I know.

Well, we'll soon be provoking that ever familiar refrain again. Rob has left HOPE and is pursuing a position in church ministry. Our dream is ultimately to begin an urban church plant, but in our near future pursue a position that will place us in a church that shares this vision. This new endeavor will most likely lead to another big move (our 4th big move in 3 years of marriage) and brand new everything. Tired?, you may ask- absolutely. Scared?, yeah a little. You have a brand new baby, aren't you WORRIED? - not at all. Through the experience of the new married foreclosure-house-graduate-school mega combo, searching-for-jobs-and-landing-in-Africa tour, and then the move to Lancaster, I’ve ever so slowly and with many set backs begun to learn to let go of my plans; that life is better when you’re not afraid to trust God.

Perhaps it is merely acclimation that I’m able to handle this transition; but I would like to think that it's maturity and peace that Rob has (we all knew it would happen one day) accepted his (hmm, I’ll avoid the weird churchy word "calling") desire, ability, gifting to be in ministry. And crazy as we may be, I like to think that we're really living. Feeling all life's bumps and bruises, joys and trials as we stretch to be the people God made us to be.

So, stay tuned to the blog and I'll post developments. And you never know, perhaps the Hartley family trio will be coming to a city near you soon.

Mama's got a brand new do

2010-03-17T15:43:00.000-07:00

A little postpartum primping was in order when, for the 3rd day in a row Husband asks "don't you want to go get your hair cut". Of course I had been wanting this but fear of a total melt down kept me away from the chair. I pictured one side of my head cut and then... Eli would wake up and it would all be over. Or, me and my postpartum hormones would hate my hair and have a meltdown of our own.

After picking up the phone to call and cancel my appointment for the 5th time, I told Eli, "nope, we're doing this." I told my stylist, "This may be a really bad idea and a complete disaster, but let's give it a try".

I like it. And my perfect baby slept the entire time.

Spring is Coming

2010-03-17T10:41:00.000-07:00

Even to Lancaster County. The Farmers' Almanac predicts a record amount of snow for us this March... Let's hope they're wrong.

flowers from Market

A Day in the Life

2010-03-16T18:42:00.000-07:00

With grandparents, family and friends far away, Eli and I wanted to show you guys what we do all day long by posting some pictures of Eli's favorite things

It's a good day for Eli when he gets to wake up in the big bed.

Eli's just started liking to kick it in the Pack n Play and watch the birds fly by

We spend some time together in the Kitchen; Eli in the bouncy while I do the dishes

We both like to go to market

And afternoon walks to the park keep us both sane

A fresh diaper makes everyone happy

The first 6 weeks

2010-03-05T12:29:00.000-08:00

My thoughts on the first 6 weeks of mommyhood

Shortly after Eli's birth I got a parenting magazine in the mail, one that described the first 12 weeks of surviving after baby's birth as "the trenches". About 3 weeks into it, I definitely understood why.

Week 1 we were mostly on survival mode balanced with a good helping of awe at our baby's arrival. My mom's presence was a great comfort and Rob and I had no worries of feeding ourselves or keeping the house clean. It was a great time to bond with our little one and adjust to being parents. Nights of less sleep were eased by long day time naps. There were plenty of post-partum tears and learning the how-tos of mommy-dom seemed endless but overall mom's homecooking at the end of everyday made life seem manageable.

When she left Rob's week of paternity began. Rob did a great job of easing the transition between easy street with my mom and the reality of day to day life with a newborn. When my mom left it felt very reminiscent of when Rob and I left the hospital with Eli. We were on our own. I was still spoiled with breakfast, lunch and dinner; but getting time for a shower became trickier. I still cannot comprehend how such a little person who sleeps so much can cause 2 adults to sleep, eat, and shower so little.

The 3rd week Rob went back to work and between the hours of 9-5, I was responsible for not only taking care of Eli, but me too. By friday I was utterly exhausted.

Weeks 3,4, and 5 progressively became more challenging. Our quiet baby "woke up" with gas pains and a seeming inability to burp. It was nothing short of depressing to realize at 4 weeks after his birth, it had been 28 days since I'd gotten a solid 8 or even 6 hours of uninterrupted sleep. Seriously baby is 5 too many to ask for? I finally understood what sleep deprivation does to a person. During the early weeks (before I guess my body adjusted) I awoke from:

- trying to nurse a pillow
- in an absolute panic having forgotten where I put the baby (no worries he was in his bassinet)
- waking Rob up with crazy nonsensical questions
- a really vivid dream of overdosing on prenatal vitamins (I hid them from myself the next morning)

It seems odd to me that the time in life when the most energy is needed would correspond to receiving less sleep that a gnat could function on. One morning at 4am, after just getting a newborn whose days and nights were confused back to sleep, I found myself in the kitchen crying from utter exhaustion and frustration; wondering why in the world having a baby sounded like such a good idea 10 months ago. Little sleep coupled with countless winter days of changing diapers and feeding baby made every day seem like the baby version of the movie "groundhog day". I saw no end in sight, and couldn't imagine a day when I'd have time to shower and eat breakfast before 1pm, when would I ever be able to get us both out the door for anything? Forget labor, these weeks were hard I would compare them to transition during labor. I felt completely ill equipped for the demands of motherhood at times during these weeks.

At a full 6 weeks, we're not out of the woods yet by any means. Baby boy has reverted to waking every 2 hours during the night for snacks. I'm thinking its due to his latest growth spurt. But breasting feeding is easier now (even though we still have our ups and downs with it) so night time feedings are not the production they once were. I can function quite happily with less sleep and enjoy the occasional afternoon nap when I can catch it. Me and baby have had many successful outings, the grocery, a la leche league meeting, wal-mart, the library, a new mommy class, a friends house, church. I've been able to learn how to mommy and sometimes do the dishes, prepare meals, do some light cleaning, etc. But overall, I think the turn came when I submitted to being less productive (or as I confided to Rob- less busy).

I thought after the initial 3 weeks, I'd be myself again. Running around town, handling the affairs of the house, back to outings with friends- so when feedings were still taking an hour, anything outside baby's needs felt overwhelming, and at the end of the day the sink was full of dirty dishes and I was unshowered, life felt rough. But once I submitted to a slower pace and less busy life, life has gradually gotten better and I can see that one day, we'll have our new normal that will work.

Even though life with a newborn has been totally unglamorous and often times downright dirty, there is a distinct feeling of sacredness. The messy kind that we seem to have the most of in our lives. I've treasured quiet times of nursing in the afternoon, singing him to sleep at night and waking up to the russeling of little baby feet under the covers in the morning. It's been amazing to take my place as a woman in the process of life; to watch my baby grow and know that he's getting all his nutrients from me. I can't wait to see Eli running down the hall in his footed pjs, smiling at me, hearing "mama", kissing skinned knees and Saturday mornings full of cartoons and demands for pancakes. So, no worries, grandparents, Eli will have plenty of little brothers and sisters. Like labor pains, I'm guessing we'll look back on these first weeks with rose colored glasses, remembering our baby's first coos and yawns and not poopy diapers at 4 am.

Pictures of Baby

2010-02-19T13:06:00.000-08:00